Tengah sedap2 tido petang, suddenly my handphone ringing. I got a call from UIA! A sister ring me up just now. She said my appeal is success. But the thing is they don't offer me law but econs...She asked me whether want to accept it or not. If yes, come on the registration day tomorrow and bring some documents. Well, i dont think i'll come for the reg day tomorrow. First, i dont have much time to istikharah. So, i will just stick to the petunjuk that Allah had give me. 2nd, if you have to choices which one of the choices has more influence in you, which one will you choose?
Just the same thing. One oversea, and once local. One is econs one is humanity. Well, as UIA is not in my first place other than to go abroad before this, therefore i'll stick to go. This is what i want. This is what i get and I know Allah is always with me. Hmm..but why He still give me UIA eh? Is there something behind it? Hmm..by the way, i dont think i'll go. But just look and see what my parent will say. I just hope for the best.
But the other thing is, I still remeber in what ustazah hayati said to me.
"Dalam nak buat keputusan, tengok hujah anti kuat belah mana. samalah mcam anti dulu. Kenapa nak amik bahasa arab dlm SPM? orang lain xde ambik pun. Sebab anti punya kehendak kuat nak amik. Kadang2 kita ada hujah lebih banyak untuk putuskan yang mana. Kenapa aku kena ada kat sini, kena amik course ni? Fikir-fikirkanlah lepastu macamana nak aplikasikan ilmu anti kepada Ummah."
Why UIA tell me just right now? Hello...the registration day is TOMORROW! WHAT HAPPEN MAN? are they kidding? what if i'm still in USIM. are they too dumb to think about the procedure and so on..
I dont know what happen to UIA management. But i feel bad for this. Their management is sucks. Think logically. registration day less than 24 hours. Think, if in my situation i'm still in other instuition. Isnt it bad? I'm not like the one that knows his name have been on the list. As he used 'orang dalam'. But this thing, i just cant accept. and this give bad impression for uia management. I m getting hate the uia' management starting from the english course for SPM Leaver. mmg if i said, i can kutuk habis the management. but somehow, i just can hold it.
Ya Allah. hmm..is't those thing ketentuan Allah jugak kan? i can't blame them. if that so, isn't that means i blame Allah too that make all these happen. Astaghfirullah..
Hmm..what's going on? I got UIA but not the first choice as I want. If look at the past, and the ranking of my choice, either abroad and local, Local will be the 2nd place.
Well, is this a test for me?
I think, just go for abroad kan..Xpayah fikir2 lagi. I dont want to be regret just the decision in a minute. Furthermore, i have bold my heart to be independent and to face the challenges out there. and i want to accept the challeges that offered to me. Like those guys said to me, "will you let the opportunity to the non-muslim and non-malays?". Think about it. You are needed to face the challenge and to fight with the best among them and among the world.
So, i will adamant with what i've decide. Allah decide to me which place is the best for me. Maybe the offer of UIA, behind of it is to make me more detemine with my decision. InsyaAllah. I wont turn back.
I know i'm quite scared actually to be in Taylor. I'm scared for my iman. Will my iman survive in the place where not everyone understand the Islam as what i understand? Other thing, i just pray to Allah, that He will give the good roomates and good friend to hangout. and somemore if i cant preach at least i can defend and be strong with what i believe in these days.
nut the thing is, ISTIKHARAH. this must be a test for. either i'm the one that not consider Allah when the thing comes, or in everything i will back to Allah to seek the answer. Yes, InsyaAllah i'll do istikharah. That't the best. i hope with the last and bold decision i made, I wont turn back and regret. InnaAllahu ma'i fi ayyi hal..Ma fi qalbi ghoirullah.
Ya Allah, sabbit qalbi 'ala hazal qada' .
p/s: there's too many unexpected things in this life eh..i never expect all this happen. first x expect dpt jpa. then tak expect the person that i need in that time, appear just like an agel. pastu, x expect tinggalkan usim dgn cepatnye. tak expect dpt uia. what's more unexpected after this???
well, thats y i've heard, EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED...pheww...~_~