Rabu, Disember 31

Sayonara 2008

2008 is a colourful year. Lot of things happen. A transition of my life! Lets see how was it..

Just graduated from secondary school. Not going to school anymore :( I'm so bored!!! I finished my last paper which is Arabic on 4th Dec 2007. 3 days later i feel the worst day in my life. THe most boring day in my life I guess. Well, in this month I don't really do anything. Online almost everyday, and 24 hours. Keep chatting with people that I dont ever know them and some more active in forum!

This month I think I start to take driving class. But the process was so long! I can't really remember whats going on in this month. Ouhh. i took English class in UIA. BUt i dont think it is a good class as I hate it so much from the first week! Honestly, I suggest anyone don't take English course in UIA for SPM leaver. It just not much thing but somehow, if British Council you'll got more benefit.

12March~~ the SPM result came out!!! My result not too bad. Alhamdulillah. Praise to Him that give me such result. My result so colourful. Most of the grade have in my slip! My result got ABC. Ais Batu Campur. hoho ~_~. There only 3 students that get 10As including myself. But no wonder I can get such result because I took 14 subjects!

Busy applying scholarships and attending interviews. I got 2 interviews only. JPA and Darul Quran. My DQ interview, I cant read Quran at the time because of uzur, that I've being asked to memorize kiTab zanji! fuhh...but it is a good experience. Besides, for JPA interview is such a lovely experience. See here >>

Waiting for JPA call. Unfortunately I didnt get it. And u know what, i got DQ! Actually I can expect that I get it but I just don't hope so much and somehow I am scared if I get DQ. Then it become for real. Ah sudahh...seriously I didn't know what to decide..My heart is like both side. Then mama said, no need to go. I just follow her say. Well this month I've posted how it feel don't secure the place for scholarship. Well, I got Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia (USIM) for the IPTA. I registered there for accounting. Nice experiece. Somehow there was a rayuan for those who not secure the scholarship in first place. I still remember that I asked help from a brother from UK. Helping me review my appeals. He do reconstruct my sentence. I guess, he is really genious.

I got 2nd call for JPA. Perhaps because of the good and 'diplomacy' words I got 2nd chance. Thanx bro! Thanks to Allah. I've been in USIM for almost 2 weeks. In a week of istikharah, I've decided to take this challenge! June is a month that I start finding information about the course and the college life. From forum, recom and also a good chat friend of mine that still available until now.

I still remember 5th July is the first day of JPA meeting, and for registration to Taylors. The day of my life having new place. A good place to live! Casa Subang..such really nice. People should be really grateful how bless to be there. The accomodation almost perfect for me. Rather that hostel in USIM, no TV, no refrigerator, no ASTRO and no single room!. I got single room! So lucky. Alhamdulillah.

My life in taylor and ICPU begins! A LOT of new things happen and trying to comfort and manage my new life as it is. The life being here, is getting challenging. It's challenge me a lot!!

Getting busy!

Getting more alive. as I've went to few programmes that being conducted from past seniors. Oversea. ISK, Syahadatul Haq, IPK yg terjadi ISK. I got new aspiration fro Islam. New awareness. I'm more aware what am I doing, the only thing is the sake of Islam. SOmehow, I start to think more about islam from before.

Busy with final project! Seriously I feel sometimes 'tired'. But I need to continue as this is the road that I've chose. No matter what I need to succeed! Well, this month got final exam which is 30% will be the final mark for 1sem!

Just right after exam, is my sister's wedding! Oh dear. So busy with kenduri this holiday. However, this holiday is really exciting and wonderful as it end with family vacation in Teluk Batik and Lumut. I've took ride on banana boat. 2 times. 1st one, I sit in front! THe salty water of the ocean splashing on my face a lot!! I imagine that those waves is the obstacle that I going through. It's really fun! And then, went to Lumut. I learnt how to swim from Abah. Good experience. Well, my say, the key is, you need to relax and make sure follow teh technique properly and wait to have your own rythm. Adjust a bit and keep on.

Here there, a C O L O U R F U L life of the year

Welcome 2009!

Today is Wednesday. The last day for year 2008! and Today also 2nd day for the first year of Islam.

What is my azam for this new year.

1. I want to FLY

Why? I want to see islam there. In Canada, in toronto! I wish to be there. The only reason I want to fly because I want to spread islam. islam is the best way of life. islam propagate the best guidance for life. islam is a submission to God. by that you will find peace in life. Dare? Let's have that peace.


1- I need to apply all those good that islam teached me.
I should practice islam itself for MYSELF first! No matter what, I hate to see people look down to me because of islam that i have in myself. No reason for that. IT shouldn't be. The only thing I should do, is be good!

Especially a GOOD KID. T_T..the hardest one i think. Nevermind, i will try try and try.
so thats some of the azam.

it is interconnected.

1. to FLY > SPREAD islam > APPLY n PRACTICE islam > Be GOOD kid and muslim

How to fly?

I should put my time more to important thing and things that related to make me FLY.
Such as, PRAY, WORK HARD, DO NOT GIVE UP, FOCUS, PATIENT, DETERMINE, TAWAKAL, STUDY (of course!), get HIGH MARK for every subject, PASS cutt point IELTS and first mid sem.

What can make me fly?

Of course ONLY with Allah's will. THerefore, I should please Him more to make me fly. If let say, in His will I'm not set to be there, then it is okay. I accept it. But currently, thats not my business. I even don't want to listen those pessimist thing. I want to keep positive as that the only thing that will keep me ALIVE!

Life will end when you stop believing, and hope will end when you stop dreaming.
If you can dream, you can achieve! What is dreamable is achievable.
I will realize the POWER of a DREAM

BUT a dream is NOTHING, unless I WORK FOR IT.

Sedangkan Allah pun, kata, dalam hadis kudsi,
"Aku menurut persangkaan hambaKu kepada-Ku....."

and, takkan ubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan dia mengubah apa yang ada dalam dirinya
- Ar-Ra'du, 11-

So keep husnu zonn to Him. THat's much better rather than keep holdng negative thinking that only killing. Other than that, it is my own EFFORT and WORK HARD. STRUGGLE till the end.

I try so hard, and go so far, in the end it doesnt even matter....

But i need to keep say it LOUD, Why?

So that me myself also will always keep pushing the limit of myself.
I WANT it, so I MUST do WHATEVER it TAKES! No matter what! as long in Allah's please.


how to achive this azam?

It is only by have the knowledge about islam. WHere to get the knowledge?? Sort of...so many ways..if i cant get it from usrah(which mean i can even follow it as because of something) then, i can ask my friend what they get from usrah. Perhaps that could be much better, at least they also get pahala because telling me. If not, they just keep it. But i need to work for it. Get it from other people. I dont want to miss it even i can't attend any usrah anymore.
A strong reason for that, I want to put my parents back. Its ok, mama don't give me to go. It doesnt me I will stop myself from getting tarbiyah. There's a lot of way to make it. Now, I want to show to mama, that I'm not as what she think I am. How? I have to CHANGE myself la! To get mama trust, so that, i can follow later on. let say in canada ke..but for now, i really need time, to get mama's trust. How? By DOING GOOD. Help her a lot at home. Help doing household, don't ever make her angry(thats the hardes thing as she used to mad to me T_T).

To gain Allah's bless, that's what I need to do.
It also one of dakwah that i preached.
Now I should realize, my time is very limited. I should appreciate my time with them. I don't want to regret later on that I dont do much good to them.

Yeah..my azam is TRYING to be GOOD.

So let's stop here, as I need to do lot of housework. A tonne of it! ~_~
Settle it before I back to casa, to taylor ~to college life.

A good muslim is to be prepared for everything.
I should get prepare myself. Even now, I shouldn't do anything bad and anything that waste.

Oh that is my azam too for 2009.
Ok, lets make a list here.

2009, azam

1- Be a GOOD MUSLIM. Show good example. SHow ISLAM is the best way of life! pply and Practice Islam. WHOLE- fully
2- Be good child.
3- Avoid useless thing, thoughts and anything that NOT GOOD
5- CARE other people. ALERT with WORD ISSUES, especially what happen to muslim world

Ayuh BERHIJRAH!(kepada yang LEBIH BAIK)

Khamis, Disember 25

Sikap mukmin bila dipuji

Ketika perjalanan pulang ke rumah setelah usai majlis di rumah saudara di Sg.Buloh, terdapat padaku kitab yang abah baca- 2 buah. 1- Shahih Al-Bukhary, 2- Kitab terjemah Al-Hikam karangan Sheikh Athoi'llah.

Mula2 aku saja selak2 baca kitab shahih bukhary, tapi lama2 fening. mungkin bahasa agak tinggi. atau pun hadis-hadis ni baca buat aku gerun. sebab baca, tak berguru takut lain paham dia. syaitan yang jadi guru. baca2 saja tak boleh. itu pesan abah.

Pertama yang aku nak kongsi, dari shahih bukhary, yg apa aku faham, cara solat berjemaah. bila imam baca sami'allahuliman hamidah. kena tunggu smp imam sujud; kening mencecah bumi, baru kita turun. sbb alkisah, sahabat2 nabi2 tak berganjak setelah bacaan tu sehingga nabi dah sujud sempurna baru mereka turun sujud.

Itu yg aku faham.

kemudian, aku selak2 buku Terjemah Al-Hikam. yang aku terselak terus kepada topik BERSANDARLAH KEPADA TUHAN, DAN BUKTIKAN KEHAMBAANMU.

ada yang dapat aku faham, ada jugak yang tak berapa nak tangkap. sebab aku tau, kitab hikam ni bukan sembarang2 kitab. ini kitab ilmu dia tinggi. Aku pernah cuba baca2 masa aku tingkatan 3, pernah dimarah abah suatu ketika. sbb katanya, belum sesuai. baik baca bagi khatam kitab bidayatul hidayah. aku hanya akur. sbb mmg aku dapati ilmu dia agak tinggi dan mendalam.

tapi harini, aku nak ekspreskan apa yang aku tertarik dengan isi kandungan kitab ini. moga punya manfaat terutama buat diriku dan yang membacanya.

143) Engkau lebih memerlukan maaf dan kesabaran Allah, ketika engkau berbuat taat , melebihi daripada keperluanmu ketika engkau berbuat maksiat dosa.

mafhum, - taubat kerana taubat maksiat itu cukup hanya satu kali, sedang taubat berbuat taat harus seribu kali ganda. sebab taat yang diliputi oleh ujub, sombong, riak, tak ikhlas itu akan berubah menjadi maksiat yang lebih besar dan org tidak akan menyedarinya. sebagaimana terjadi jatuhnya iblis setelah lama taat dari singgahsana kehormatannya.

amal yang tidak ikhlas kerana ALLah tiada harga di sisi Allah. dan nilai ikhlas yg macamana? itu rahsia Allah.

kemulian seorang HAMBA hanya ketika bersandar diri kepada Tuhannya, dan jatuhny aseorang hamba bla ia telah melihat dan berbangga dengan dirinya sendiri. Sedang manusia ketika berbuat taat merasa dirinya sudah baik lalu berbangga dengan amal perbuatannya itu, kemudian menghina orang lain. padahal, alamt perbuatannya jika diperhati dalam hal keikhlasan tidak mungkin akan diterima bahkan itu semua palsu belaka di sisi Allah.

Allah telah menurunkan wahyu kepada seorang Nabi: Beritahukan keada hamba-hambaKu yang bersungguh-sungguh beribadat kepadaKu, janganlah kamu tertipu oleh kesombongan dengan amal perbuatanmu itu, kerana apabila Aku menegakkan benar-benar keadilanKu, pasti Aku akan menyiksa mereka dan itu bukan suatu kezaliman terhadap mereka. Dan katakan kepada hamba-hambaKu yang telah berbuata dosa, tiada suatu dosa yang tidak dapat kuampunkan. Maka Janganlah kamu berputus harapan dari RahmatKu.

simply put; yg aku faham,
jgn ingat kita buat baik, taat atas ikhtiar sendiri. tapi HAKIKATnya, itu semua kurnia Allah. kita mmg takde daya langsung nak buat apa2 perkara melainkan atas pertolongan Allah jua. itu sifat sebenar kehambaan.

jgn pernah rasa putus asa utk mohon ampun bila dah buat dosa. jgn pulak jadi sombong, dah buat dosa tapi tak reti nak taubat.

paling penting, perlu ada rasa roja' dan hauf. takut dan harap. sbb walau kita taat, apakah pasti kita benar2 taat. mungkin disebalik ketaatan kita terselit sifat2 bangga, riak, sombong, maka itu semua yg mencacatkan amal di sisi Allah. maka, setiap ketaatan perlu terselit TAKUT, dan HARAP. sbb takut2 Allah tak terima amal kita yg mungkin tak cukup sempurna, tak cukup ikhlas. Allah itu Maha Mengetahui.

Sifat orang mukmin jika dipuji

153)orang-orang yang memuji pada disebabkan oleh apa yang mereka sangka ada padamu, kerana itu engkau harus mencela dirimu kerana apa2 yang benar-benar engkau ketahui pada dirimu

- xboleh tertipu dek pujian org yg tak tau hakikat diri kita. smpaikan seolah2 merasa sudah semprna dan merasa layak dipuji. tapi kita kena berdoa seperti ini:

"Ya Allah jadikanlah aku lebihbaik dari apa yang mereka sangka, dan ampunkan bagiku apa-apa(dosa-dosa) yang tidak mereka ketahui. dan jangan dituntut dgn apa yang mereka katakan.

- siapa yg merasa senang dengan pujian orang terhadap dirinya, beerti ia telah mengizinkan(memberi ruang dan kesempatan) keada syaitan untuk masuk dan merosak iman dan fikirannya.

154)seorang mukmin jika dipuji orang, malu pada Allah kerana ia dipui dengan sifat yang tiada pada dirinya.

- seorang mukmin yang sesungguhnya ialah tidak merasa dirinya mempunyai sifat2 yg layak utk dipuji sbb ianya hanya merasa mendapat kurnia Allah jika ia dapat berbuat sesuatu yg baik dan sama sekali bukan dari usaha kekuasaan dan kehendak sendiri.

155) sebodoh-bodoh manusia iaitu org yg meninggalkan(mengabaikan) keyakinan yg sungguh ada padanya, kerana menurut persangkaan yang ada pada org2.

yg yakin ia ketahui bermaksud kekurangan-kekurangan dan dosa-dosa yg telah dilakukannya atau kerendahan akhlak dan kelemahan imannya sendiri.

kesimpulan :- jangan tertipu dengan pujian org.

Andaikan Nur Imanmu telah terang, pasti dapat melihat Akhirat

147)Andaikan nur keyakinan itu telah menerangi hatimu, nescaya engkau dapat melihat akhirat itu lebih dekat kepadamu sebelum engka melangkah kaki kepadanya, juga nescaya engkau akan dapat melihat segala kecantikan dunia ini, telah diliputi kemuraman kerosakan yang bakal menghinngapinya.

Rasulullah s.a.w. berkata: Sesungguhnya nur cahaya jika masuk dalam hati, terbuka lapanglah dada untuknya. Ketika Nabi s.a.w. ditanya: Ya Rasulullah apakah yg demikian itu ada tandanya? Jawab baginda: Ya, iaitu merenggangkan diri dari dunia tipuan, dan condong pada akhirat yang kekal dan bersiap-siap untuk menghadapi maut(mati) sebelum tibanya.

Anas r.a. berkata: Ketika Rasulullah s.a.w sedang berjalan berjumpa denan seorang pemuda dari sahabat ansar, Rasulullah terus bertanya: Bagaimanakah keadaanmu hai Haritsah pada pagi ini?
Jawabnya: Aku kini menjadi seorang mukmin yang sungguh.
Rasulullah berkata: Hai Haritsah, perhatikan perkataanmu. kerana setiap kata itu harus ada bukti hakikinya.
Maka berkata Haritsah: Ya Rasulullah, jiwaku jemu dari dunia, sehingga aku bangun malam dan puasa siang hari, kini seolah aku berhadapan dengan arsy, dan melihat ahli syurga sedang ziarah menziarah antara satu dengan yang lain sebgaimana seolah-olah aku melihat ahli neraka sedang menjerit-jerit di dalamnya.
Bersabda Nabi s.a.w.: Engkau telah melihat, maka tetapkanlah(jangan berubah)/ Seorang hamba yang telah diberi nur iman dalam hatinya.
Haritsah berkata: Ya Rasulullah, doakan aku mati syahid, maka Nabi s.a.w. berdoa untuknya.

Dan pada suatu hari ketika ada panggilan untuk berjihad ( Wahai Kuda Allah segeralah), maka dialah yang pertama menyambut dan yang pertama mati syahid. dan ketika ibunya mendengar berita bahawa anaknya telah mati syahid, ia datang bertanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w
"Ya Rasulullah, beritakan kepadaku tentang Haritsah puteraku. Jika ia disuga aku tidak akan menangnis atau menyesal selama hidupku di dunia!

Jawab Nabi saw.:
"Hai ibu Haritsah, bukan hanya satu syurga tetap syurga di dalam syurga-syurga. dan Haritsah telah mencapai firdaus yang tertinggi. Maka kembalilah ibu Haritsah sambil tertawa dan berkata: Untung-untung bagimu hai Haritsah.

Anas r.a juga berkata: Pada suatu hari Muadz bin Jabal masuk ke tempat Nabi s.a.w. sambil menangis, maka ditanya oleh Nabi s.a.w.:
"Bagaimanakah keadaanmu pagi ini hai Mu'adz?"

Jawab Mu'adz: Aku pagi ini mukmin benar-benar kepada Allah.
Bersabda nbi: Tiap-tiap kata yang benar itu harus ada bukti hakikatnya. Maka apakah bukti pernyataanmu itu?

Jawab Muadz: Ya Nabiyallah, kini jika aku berada di waktu pagi merasa mungkin tidak sampai petang, dan jika petang merasa mungkin tidak sampai pagi, dan tiap melangkahkan kaki merasa mungkin tidak dapat melangkahkannya yag lain dan terlihat kepadaku seolah-olah manusia semua telah dipanggil untuk menerima suratan amal bersama dengan Nabi-nabi dan berhala-berhalanya yang disembah selain dari Allah, juga seolah-olah aku telah melihat siksa ahli neraka dan pahala ahli syurga.

Maka bersabda Nabi saw, telah mengetahui maka tetapkanlah.

Rasulullah s.a.w etika memberitahukan kepada sahabat-sahabatnya hal gugurnya sahabat Zaid bin Haritsah dan Ja'far bin Abi Thalib dan Abdullah bin Rawahah r.a berkata :

Demi Allah, mereka tidak akan senang andai mereka masih berada antara kami.
Rasulullah memberitakan demikian dengan air mata yang berlinang-linang.

Rabu, Disember 24

Maafkan diriku wahai usrah

wahai usrah,
wahai tazkirah,
wahai tarbiyyah,
wahai dakwah.

maafkan diriku.
seringkali aku menodai kesucian kalian
seringkali aku mencabul kehormatan kalian
seringkali aku mencemarkan kedaulatan kalian
seringkali aku merosakkan kemulian kalian

mungkinkah selama ini pura-pura yang kutonjolkan?
mungkinkah selama ini puji-pujian yang lebih kudambakan?
mungkinkah selama ini 'kehormatan' yang lebih kurasakan?

wahai mama,
wahai abah
usrah itu tidak bersalah
tazkirah itu tidak bersalah
agama itu tidak bersalah
hanya diriku jua yang bersalah
namun aku jua punya kelemahan
aku jua punya kekurangan
aku bukan manusia sempurna
tak kupinta untuk jadi dai'e
tak kupinta gelaran itu
tak kupinta diriku disanjung tinggi

salahkah usrah itu?
salahkah mendengar tazkirah itu?
salahkah menyampaikan pula?

salahkah aku mengikuti usrah?
salahkah aku menyampaikan tazkirah?
salahkah aku mengikuti tarbiyah?

ya itu tidak salah. namun andai akhlak mu tidak mencerminkan mereka,
andai pembawaan mu tidak seiring dengan mereka, itu lebih bersalah.

bukankah itu jua kebencian dan kemurkaan paling besar 'Azza wajal?

kabura maqtan 'indallahi 'an taqulu ma la ta'lamun.

kebencian besar di sisi Allah bagi mereka yang mengatakan sesuatu tetapi tidak melakukan.

Allah jua berfirman,
kamu menyuruh mengerjakan kebaikan namun apakah kamu lupa pada diri sendiri?

maafkan diriku wahai usrah.
maafkan diriku wahai tazkirah.
maafkan diriku wahai tarbiyah.
mungkinkah aku perlu berhenti mengejar kalian?

kerana kerdil dan lemahnya diri ini untuk berdiri teguh bersama kalian.
kerana lemahnya diri ini untuk menjaga nama baik kalian
mungkin ini saatnya untuk meninggalkan kalian?
bersama kalian mungkin tidak membawa kebaikan buat diri ini?
bahkan aku hanya menambah dusta, menambah cerca, menambah fitnah pada diri kalian

kalianlah yang menjadi sasaran utama dipersalahkan
kalianlah yang pertama mereka lihat
yang merupakan 'watak' pada peribadiku

Duhai mama abah
aku sayang kalian
tak terucap dengan kata-kata
tak terlafaz pada bibir
namun aku cinta kalian demi Allah

hanya sahutanmu kulambat sahuti
hanya kerana suruhanmu lambat kukerjakan
hanya kerana itu
'cercaan' pada 'mereka' yang kudapati
terasa hinanya diri ini
malu tak terkira

Duhai Tuhan yang menciptakan diri ini
Aku insan lemah
Seringkali ku tersungkur dengan bisikan syaitan
diri yang lebih dikuasai nafsu duniawi

usrah itu tidak bersalah wahai mama
agama itu tidak bersalah
namun aku yang bersalah
hakikat jiwa yang masih penuh debu-debu dosa
lantaran nafsu menguasai jiwa

perjuangan itu bukanlah indah belaka
tidak seindah kata-kata
manis menuturkan
pahit melakukan
andai diri dibiar berlarutan dalam kejahilan
pasti kan menjelma akhirnya kebinasaan

apa aku harus lakukan?
tinggalkan usrah?
tinggalkan tazkirah?
tinggalkan mereka
kerana engkau hanya menambah dosa, menambah fitnah pada mereka
bila mana dirimu tidak seiring yang dibawa
bila mana dirimu hanya 'indah khabar dari rupa'
lantas fitnah melanda.

atau itukah bisikan syaitan.
atau perintah Tuhan yang lebih mengajar
"bangun! dan berilah peringatan! dan sucikan dirimu dari dosa"

ini sebuah dilema.
dilema demi dilema aku dapati
demi sebuah kebenaran
aku dilanda 'amukan'
angkara siapakah?
yang bersarang di hati insan

aku redho.
mungkin ini ujian TUhan
mungkin ini ujianNya
yang mungkin kerana
aku yang LEKA, aku yang ALPA, aku yang LALAI
dari mengingatiNya, dari mentaatiNya,
terpedaya dengan 'keseronokan' nafsu dan dunia.


[mood: sedih dgn diri sendiri, malu dgn Allah]

Alam Dimensi

Perkara itu
dambaan setiap insan
fitrah dan lumrah aturan Tuhan
tidak mudah seperti yang diimpikan
tidak semudah itu yang difikirkan
fantasi mengundang realiti
memikirkannya melalui pelbagai dimensi
hanya wahyu Nya pedoman hati

namun berpijakkah kita di bumi realiti
andai yang maya menerjah ilusi
ilusi..maya..apakah kan jadi realiti?

berat memikirkan.
kusut merungkaikan
persoalan demi persoalan
berkunjung seribu satu andaian
mungkinkah itu mainan syaitan?

apakah ajal maut itu datang menjemput kita sesudah kita benar2 bersedia menerimanya?
apakah jodoh jua datang memanggil sesudah kita cukup bersedia menerimanya?

mungkin itu kehendak Tuhan.

andai ini satu suratan.
ku dambakan sebuah jawapan.
yang membawaku jauh dari dunia khayalan.

Redho dan pasrah ketentuan Ilahi.

~ sekadar monolog hati ~

Selasa, Disember 23

As long as you know

In life, there are only 4 BASIC principles

You know what is good (pahala {I don’t know what is it in English}), what is bad (sin)

You know what is Halal (can do) what is HARAM (cannot do or shouldn’t be near to). You know that there is a heaven and hell. Where you do good you can get into heaven, when you do bad, you can get into hell. But here, nobody knows His Qadar. Keep in mind, only by a prayer [du’a] can change the qadho’. That’s the power of du’a as Allah stated. Although Allah set everything but He still has His Mercy for His servant. As we still can has a part, and only He we should pleased for His Mercy. You are not going to heaven or hell by only your own deed but it is all because of His Mercy on you.

You know that you will DIE. You know that your life not everlasting. And you never know when you are going to die. You want to enjoy? What’s the purpose of your life? What’s the meaning of life to you? After you die, no one could help you unless what you did when you are alive.

4 things. As long u know, dosa pahala, syurga neraka you will always be good.
As long as you know why you are{ a servant. a creature that the most decent that made by cement} , you will always remember the purpose of yourlife and the matter of life.

Be good to others. Be good to anyone. No big nose. No greediness. No selfishness. As you know, perhaps you will die by the time after this, or tomorrow.

This is what a muslim believes as he believe there is a day of Hereafter. Where all our deed will be count either good or bad. Because of that, we cannot do bad things no matter to ourselve, or other people and things.Rich people should help the poor, as their wealth is a TEST and a responsibility. It is not just for fun and play.

Well ya, perhaps some people think we muslim just believe nonsense. A thing that you can't see for real. Now let's look, if you believe it's not a matter of fact. It can make sense to make you believe in something. I believe no one has a power that Allah The Almighty. He the one that I pleased that has power on us. Why?

A baby was born and a kid or an old man is dying, both has no power to hold or to postpone their deliver or death. not even a single second. They have no power on their own body. Then who the one that has the power? You tell me.

Fair enough. I should be good to myself and my parents right now. -_-

p/s: to be really a damn GOOD child one, not easy task for me same as to be a GOOD SERVANT. The only reason, I should not only because of mercy but because I please Him I do.

[mode: struggling]

Jumaat, Disember 19

I want to FLY!

After reading a blog of a friend of mine, I feel inspired. I want to be like ...

very discipline person! I get inspiration by just read the post nd I really want to be there! To see ISLAM there. I will do what ever it takes.

I try so hard and go so far..in the end it doesnt even matter..(tawakkal) ~quote from linkin park's ~

My top priority now is to pull up my marks at least 85. The only mark i should get to fly.
FOr now on, i'm sorry to person that connected to me. I need to be a bit selfish and it could hurt you when i ignore you. I know. But it's my dream to realize. As a scholar, as a muslim it is a hope of jemaah and ummah to me, a hope and high expectation from sponsor and especially my beloved parents.. for me to succeed. I dare not to play2 anymore. only 6 months to go! I need to learn to say No no no for now and next time. Insaf! My bad mark teach me a great lesson to be learnt. and I dont want to be stupid to do over the same mistake as I did in past. I cant have both. To have good time with you now will be a pain later on. THerefore, I am avoiding anyone that could drag away from the GOAL. I'm sorry.
I need to be strong and focus more to one thing and prioritize.
My situation is so critical which I really need to push my limit over the average one.
I hope people understand me. Maybe this is not my final answer but this is the only thing in my mind for now. IT is because of situation that put me like this. For now, I dare not to go further as it will consume my precious time and the only opportunity that I have. I put my trust in Allah to let it be.
May Allah Bless us.
~maybe blogging also should be avoided next time. as it consume a lot of the time. no more blogging after this.~
WAKE UP Qurratul! WAKE UP Muslims!! Wake UP!!!

Its not time but it is lesson

love to quote from my lovely ukhti during the tahfiz camp in KIPSAS last time. Similar to what I feel. Now she maybe still in Darul Quran or grad already.

But I feel drained; thinking so much about my carelessness and feeling
sorry towards others. But yeah, I have to be realistic. That’s impossible. I
should make up my mind and learn to solve problems realistically and give myself
a chance to improve and do better next time.Stop being judgemental to my own
self. I am growing up; and making mistakes is a part of it. I should appreciate
all that I have experienced; all that I have learnt. We can never be assured
that going back to the past will help us do something better and successfully.
No. In this case, it is not time that matters, but the will to learn and treat
our mistakes, faults and weaknesses truthfully; as the way it should be.I
believe, there will always be a second chance for those who really mean to
change. So, there must be a second chance for me, Insha’Allah. “If I can’t learn
from good examples, I will learn from mistakes.” And that’s exactly what I will
do now; to learn from mistakes, Insha’Allah.