The happy feeling
Today my day starts better. However, my flaw, I don’t get for tahajud. But at least, better than yesterday. Well, today is the IELTS result to release. Should be nervous isn’t it? But I feel cool bout it. Not so worry, just I don’t really thinking much about it. How I can be not worrying bout it? Well, I really surrender to Him. To me, I’ve done my part. Let Allah do the rest. Put all those hope and believe to Him. Keep believe and have faith, He knows the best. I SURRENDER!
Even tak sempat for tahajud, I struggle to get subuh jemaah. Struggling to have jemaah with Awin my next door friend. Not really next actually, but just opposite my house. Alhamdulillah, sempat. When I called her, she just about to pray. Lucky to get jemaah because last few days I missed it! Due to my lateness and she had prayed. A bit frustrating and what a waste! After that, I manage to stick with the ‘mutaba’ah ‘amal’. While going down the stairs, I start to listen to IKIM. Before this, I never open IKIM in the morning and hear the slot ‘tafsir quran’. But after one sahabat suggest me to listen, it is an encouragement for me to listen. But it is almost after a week the suggestion, I manage to hear it. I don’t know.
It seems I’m living in a ‘cave world’ which really under develops. I know it’s my own fault. I don’t really listen to radio, not really read newspaper, Current news? I feel dumb when people talk what happen currently because I don’t updated with any current issues(since not taking world issue anymore. Feel so bad know nothing). My world looks like ‘isolated’ even I’m living in urban city. Perhaps, the one that live in kampung2, know better than me. No joke.
Well, along the way, I listen to the slow. The kupasan really good. The ustaz talked about akidah(faith).
What I can still remember, he say about
- Musyarokah
- Muroqobah
- Muhasabah
- Mu’aqabah
- Muhajadah
Let me explain. Musyarotah means that, you need to put limitation and restriction to have faith. It just like an expecatation. Like to have contract with people, you need to fulfil some restriction. SO, it’s the same thing like we and Allah too, where you mush have some sort of promise to fulfil. If not, you can’t have a good and strong akidah or faith. Maybe the restriction could be i.e. : in whatever it is, you must have faith in Him no matter what circumstances it be.
Then, bout muroqabah. Is the close relation between us and Allah. When we have some sort of promise and restriction, then we need to feel that He is very close to us and always with us. That’s the step to have strong faith. Because only the strong faith that will save us in life as anything it comes, we will not be ruined.
Next, about muhasabah. It is being storied that in past history the sahabat really judge them. As saidina Umar said, “judge yourself before you being judge later” Like saidina Umar, He judge himself very particular. I cant really remember the example of his action but he really strict and discipline.That’s the story of sahabat. What about us? What about me? In fact, I don’t really judge myself so much.
Huhu..Seldomly. Too bad. Now, I’m in a way trying, and struggling to upgrade iman to higher level. Maybe by doing these things. Ada hikmah ditakdirkan dengar radio IKIM pagi ni! Dapat tips yang sangat2 bermanfat. ^_^ Alhamdulillah. Thanx to the one that suggest me to listen to it. I almost ‘forgot’ about ikim or any radio these days. In fact, when being asked, it is almost a month I don’t listen to radio I guess. Betapa katak di bawah tempurungnye laa..huhu
Mujahadah pulak, xberapa ingat la plak kupasan dia.
Anyway bout IELTS result. A significant event!
Happy???!
After I took the result, and I saw my result. Overall bandscore. That’s the first thing I looking for! 6.5. Fuhh..alhamdulillah. selamat aku. Then, I saw each component. and saw. writing 5.5.aiseh…asal r ade cacat nih.. then, trying to generate positive mind, ala..xpela..memang soklan dia haritu pun ak mmg kontang idea. Tak tau nak tulis aper. Tanye ak pasal ekonomi. Tapi mmg sgt general je soklan dia. Cuma ak ni, takder idea nak tulis ape. Lg 5 minit da nak habis masa baru tersedar, aku tulis ciput. Tak cukup quota. Terkial2 nak tambah word. Ayat mmg berterabur. Yeah..no wonder the result could be like that. Xper r..redho..nak wat camner. Idea comes from READING. And me? I’m not reading at all! I mean for general knowledge. I knew myself. I have very limited knowledge about general knowledge and some sort of current issue. Mmg kantoi r!
Then, sister yg tukang bagi result tu kata kat aku, mmg pedas r kena. Dia kata mcm ‘itula..u lainkali dah tau, patut ambik kelas. Don’t take risk.”..hmm dalam hati aku pedas terasa. Xpe2..takdir Allah. I register for re-sit on the same day I took the result. Tak fikir panjang. Fikir nak amik balik as soon as possible and lepas! That’s all.
So, aku pun, da tak tau nak fikir ape dah. Hmm..sebelum ambik result, mmg baca macam2..baca yasin, ratib n so on..mintak bagi tenang, and dapat terima apa je yang dah tersedia untuk aku. Doa yg biasa aku baca ari2
“Ya Allah, jika apa yang telah engkau takdirkan bagiku hari ini, maka jadikanlah aku redho dan mendapat petunjuk. Jadikan aku redha(can accept) apa sahaja yang telah engkau tentukan untukku hari ni”
Sebelum amik result, member2 bagi support r. kata insyaAllah ok..aku pun masa tu bersemangat r nak gi amik result IELTS.
Siap kata, “toronto…here I come!..”(poyo gler. Bajet mcm dpt 7 je..)
I took it juz before MR.Ben class. Sbb result kua pukul 9. ak pegi dlm 9.05.masa tu takder r plak dubdab2 sgt..cool jek..hmm..before amik result, gi draw duit siap2. sbb bajet nak terus hantar result tu gi Toronto n york n perhaps Carleton. Courier express dlm RM90 ++ per univ. kalau dua dah RM100 ++..huhu..
After that, pergila menjemput result kat IDP yg sejengkal jek dari ATM tu. Bila da tgk result, terkedu r plak. Tak tau nak fikir ape. Confirm r nak hantar Toronto tak lepas. Oh harapan menggunung ku punah sementara..mungkin terpaksa ucapkan ..bye2 to UofT. Sadis. Tapi masa dpt result, tu, ntah r. tak tau patut rs ape. Yg penting only one thing that I know, I feel so relieve! But a relief just a relief. The feeling, feels nothing. Bersyukur, yes. Syukur sebab lepas. Tapi, masa tu mcm tak tau patut ke rasa happy atau pun x. sebab writing dpt 5.5 which is not my expectation.
quote Hamlet plak masa tu..
“to be, or not to be..” hohoho
Dengan perasaan yg relief and a bit disappointed for the writing part, aku pun masuk kelas. Hmm..masuk kelas LAN, sume da pakat tanyer. Ak mmg xbleh sembunyik..ckp je r..
The first thing I heard good response about my result,
“sedap mata memandang..” and congratulations
Then, MR. Ben,
“This is a good news isn’t it! Lets see how you doin with previous one. Your listening is improved, your reading is very good. Level up. Your writing maybe a bit reduce, and your speaking is great. You achieve what you want. And this is so good.”
Okay. After I heard that, then I start to feel, yeah..this not too bad. (I’m one that hard to feel satisfy. Need someone to tell me that I’ve done well)
Then I met MR. Collin Shafer along the way. Just tegur him from far as I’ve saw him from long way,
“Hi Mr. Collin. How are you..?”
“hey..ain..how are you doing?”
(xjawab pun soklan aku..hampeh..)
“I’m good.”
“really?. What’s your latest update?"
“oh..I just took my IELTS …”
“I saw many book in your hands..”
“Oh yeah..this is for my CCA research. Law subject. I choose topic War and International Law..”
“sorry. what you say just now?? When I asked about your latest update?”
“oh..I just took my IELTS. Do you know IELTS?”
He just nodded his head and looks like he really have know idea what its all about. And I show her my result that written on the top INTERNATIONAL ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEST SYSTEM and show my result to him from the transparent file.
Listening 6.5 Reading 7.5 Writing 5.5 Speaking 7.0 Overall bandscore 6.5
“oh..erm..this is IETLS..well, my writing quite bad..”
“Oh..your reading quite high. That’s good. But for writing, don’t worry. There’ still lot of rooms of improvement..”
Dia kata sambil kenyit mata kat aku..Ya Allah…sabar je la..menahan rasa..muka da r mcm beckham. Tinggi mcm tiang gol(bak kata kakak aku)
And then, I met Pei San at the stairs, and just tegur her by telling my result released already. She really excited to know. I don’t want to show, and I said,
“not so good la. My writing sucks!”
but she trying to grab it from me and want to see it. Her expression really like impressed with the result. But then she said, “eh u need to retake back. Ur writing ..not reach the requirement..”
“ala.. no need. Mr. Ben said I can send both my ielts result just to show my ability that I able to write. Because previous one I got 6.”
Then, blah. Dari jauh, she shout.. “Ain…!”
I toleh, then she said, “CONGRATULATION!”
so cheerful. That’s nice to hear! Then I said, “Thank you!” ^^
Just after that, I got message from Husna. Asking bout my result too. I reply by saying syukri Allah. Thanks for her support and doa. Hope can get study together in Canada with her. InsyaAllah.
After that, my law class, Mr.Hanna.
Come to my turn to consult about the research.
He asked me, “how’s your progress?”
Tersengih2 mcm kerang busuk, I said, “ so far, so good..” sarcastic. –padahal tak buat ape2 lagi pun.
Then, he called me for consultation about my topic. I show him my mind map that not fully complete, then I told him about my argument for the topic which is
“international law has failed to stop the war!”
“is that only your argument? Are you referring to any specific area? Or just war in general?”
“err..yeah..generally war..erm..like the Israeli war in Gaza, …”
“oh..yeah..another war is?”
“erm…err..what else eh..”
mmg gelabah da..tak tau..amik ko ..amik topic perang2..da r lemah sal benda2 ni..da tak tau nak kelentong..
Then, dia try bagi klu..
"erm..sorry Mr.Hanna..I don't complete my research yet..well, it is
"yes. you need to make research more..it is iraq war..and the palestin..you can put in two example and try to extract from those. You can have two and not necessarily three argument. And also you can tell about what happen in Somalia right now. ? It’s disaster! There so many people being killed. And no one can stop it”
“oh..so ..maybe I need to list all the war..”
“you not necessarily make a list. I don’t want a list but..”
“yeah..i mean like from the list of war, then I try to proof that how the international law has failed …”
“oh..exactly. that’s what you should do and then you can look the thousand of war in Africa. What happen? It’s disaster! There so many people being killed. And no one can stop it.”
“Yeah..”
“and your argument might be the important thing. The one that important..”
Muka mr.hanna masa tu..hmm..sgt serius, n mmg mcm ape jek..
“yeah..should be important one..”, I said.
Dah tak tau nak ckp pe dah..
“erm, is it that’s all?”
“yeah. That’s all. Keep moving..”
After the class, I told him about my IELTS result because before this, he really eager to know. Dia sangat2 excited..he looks really really happy. Sangat2 excited.
He said,
“this is the grade that you want right? I am really happy for you..”
“err..yeah..”
Then, dia hulur tangan kat aku, nak ucap congratulation. Aku masa tu, tergamam jap. Aku hulur tangan gak, tapi aku hulur tak sampai salam, aku just buat2 mcm ak salam, tapi aku tahan. Then aku kata, “I’m sorry..”
Dia pun paham2 je aku punya body language, terus dia tarik tangan balik and show thumbs up.
“congratulations!”
Hmm..mr.Hanna. ‘mengancam’ sungguh!
Well, this is some of the story which can I it consider as ‘success’? Perhaps.
The thing is, today I don’t feel happy or so happy, or once to feel happy, but by looking to people that happy with me, that makes me happy!
Betul. Aku pun tak tau aku rasa hepi ke x. patut ke rasa hepi? Tapi bila dgr ucapan2 yang memberangsangkan, n org keep say congratulation to me, and with some teacher that very excited and happy with my results, I feel happy for that. Itu satu benda yang aku rasa pelik untuk hari ni. I’m not really happy with the result but other people makes me to feel happy about it. This is good I think.
At least, I experienced some things in my life. I have experience how it feel when I got result that not good and result that consider good but not enough(for me).
Here two things.
Last time, before when got the first IELTS result, and I don’t ‘pass’ it. Undeniable a bit sad, and I feel so envy and jealous with my friends that ‘pass’ it with flying colours and I’m not. But that time, I keep the patience lies in me. I cry and cry until there’s no more tears to cry(just only the day I got the result). A bit depress that time but I accept the fate and accept it as a ‘test’ from Him. This is the opportunity for me to strengthen my faith and my believe in Him. I suppose.
Yes, it is. A tarbiyah from Him.
Tak mudah patah semangat!
Just like how I met Miss Christie before my IELTS speaking test which I still remember,
She said to me,
“There is two types of people When something not goes as what we want it be, some people will just give up but there are people that will keep trying and trying. And I’m happy that you are the one that keep trying and not give up.. get back to the horse, Ain!”
“oh yeah..erm..what was that?”
“well, we will say get back to the horse. Which means that when something not goes like we expect it to be, just get back on the track back..”
“oh..okay..”
Yeah. The spirit of never never never give up in me, should lies in me forever.
And today, I could feel how it feel when people happy with me and people keep congratulate. I feel how it feels. How good the feeling is. To get good claim. I hope this spirit and enthusiasm will be last long as I will take this as momentum. It is really good to hear some encouragement from others.
Yes, I really need MOMENTUM at this time. Really needed. The lost ‘spirit’ in me, should be in me right now.
Today, not only a person, but most people around me. That makes me feel good and I believe that’s a good thing which I should try to keep it up. By stay focus, have faith, belief and confidence. ^_^
Alhamdulillah. Thanks Ya Allah for Your Bless.
Wallahu’alam
p/s:well, this is also a test from Allah. Test me. Test me to be HUMBLE. Don’t feel proud, don’t feel so good actually. Need to be controlled. Yeah. Really really test me. Takut ter’riak’ seh. Takut terasa ujub. Nauzubillah. Takutt…T_T
Jumaat, April 17
Khamis, April 16
IELTS result also is a 'test'
Bismillah..
I’ve got my IELTS result! - re-sit one…
I still remember. How bad and ‘good’ my SPM result is. Have ABC...
Well the same thing for IELTS. Variety bands! How interesting. I was like “wow...resultku that so so meriah...”
I am relieved yet not so happy. When I saw one of the components not reach the expectation. I don’t really feel good about it. But one of my friends that saw my result said, “Hmm...result ni sedap mata memandang..sedap untuk ditengok”..
Well, what did I expect from myself for writing huh?
Qurratul, you know how you are. You really know how you are that not really READ (my biggest problem), how you expect to write better? Well, that’s my flaw and it is really undeniable that writing is really my weakness. In order to convey the ideas to the reader, my writing quite terrible In addition with very limited knowledge(to gain idea), then lack of exposure. . Oh Yeah. .fair enough. You deserve it. You cannot compare with other.
Anyway, Alhamdulillah. Thanks to Allah for everything. This time I really berserah. (Dunno what in English. someone help me!)
A bit encourage after I consult with Mr. Ben about my result.
Good to hear, he said it is good news! (Even I’m not so sure whether it’s good news though, to have 5.5 in writing)
Yeah. I never think of it. Maybe I should send both my IELTS result.
Well, well, well, this is just a TEST. That really tests me. So here it is. Why should I bother about the result? After all, it just signifies what I did. It tells me my weakness and so on so that I keep work for it. Isn’t that a good thing? (Trying to be positive). And some more, this is a ‘gift’ from Allah.
This result also a ‘test’ from Him. Whether I’ll be a grateful person or not.
Here, I feel glad for everything. Glad that Allah gives me such a test that shows He loves me. He wants me to be better. He wants me to get better! That’s all what it is!
How to increase Iman?
This post, reminding to myself, as I always sometimes 'lost' and 'soluble' with this world. Therefore, here share some tips for us to work for our iman. Let's strengthen our iman in a way that we can achieve His bless. Only by iman then we can get to Jannah ~ Heaven~ insyaAllah ^^
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful & Compassionate
From a Past Post by Shaykh Nazim Mangera:
�If a sick person doesn't realize that she is sick, the doctor will never be able to cure her.
So realizing that there is a spiritual sickness is a sign that your faith is strong.
I have the following words of advice for you:
Al-Haakim reported in al-Mustadrak, and al-Tabaraani reported in al-Mu'jam, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
�Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.
� (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, 1/4;. Al-Haythami said in Majma al-Zawaa'id, 1/52, �It was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and its isnaad is saheeh.)
This Hadith tells us that our faith will become weak but we will have to strengthen it with various actions and different good deeds. If we try to implement the following, Insha Allah it will help us all.
On a weekly basis, try to attend some Halaqah or an Islamic gathering.
That is a great way of keeping the battery of Iman and actions charged.
A good suggestion would be that you join some weekend or evening Islamic course or something of that sort. You will find good company there which will be a means of strengthening your faith and Iman. And when you feel like you are all burnt out�, there will be others there who will guide you and help you out and get you back up on your feet again.
Try to read some portion of the Quran everyday and make Zikr of Allah.
It will not be a bad idea to start off the day by reciting Surah Yaseen.
Try to have a daily Halaqah of reading from a Hadith book at home. The most widely used Hadith book in English is probably Riyadh us Salihin. Set aside a time at home, and try to sit down with other family members. It does not have to be long. Even five minutes or ten minutes will suffice.
A daily dose of the words of Allah and his beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam goes a long way in keeping us attached to our faith.
After prayers or whenever, try to recite as many times as possible the words which are mentioned in the following Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
�Do not forget to say in every prayer,
�Rabbi a�'nni 'ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni 'ibaadatika
(O Allah, help me to remember You, thank You and worship You properly.).� (al-Nasaa�i, 1303)
Sometimes we commit sins which eventually make us weak in our faith.
The way we have a habit of sinning, the same way, as soon as a sin is committed, we should make a habit of seeking forgiveness for our sins. We should never procrastinate because death could over take us anytime.
You also must understand that we all go through these weaknesses. We all have those moments when we don't feel like doing anything Islamic. Faith increases and decreases. This is natural and it will happen many times in our lives.
It is important to know that if a decrease in faith leads to one neglecting one's duties or doing Haram deeds, this slackening is very serious and one must repent to Allah and start to do something about it at once.
If it does not lead to neglect of duties and doing Haram deeds, but just makes a person fall short in doing Mustahabb (recommended) deeds, for example, then a person still needs to know how to sort herself out and correct herself until she returns to the proper level of energy and strength in worship.
This is what we learn from the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), �Every deed has energy and strength, and then this energy and strength is followed by a slackening, so who's slackening is in accordance to my Sunnah he will be fine, and who's slackening is to other than that
[i.e., doing unlawful or forbidden deeds] he will be doomed.�
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful & Compassionate
From a Past Post by Shaykh Nazim Mangera:
�If a sick person doesn't realize that she is sick, the doctor will never be able to cure her.
So realizing that there is a spiritual sickness is a sign that your faith is strong.
I have the following words of advice for you:
Al-Haakim reported in al-Mustadrak, and al-Tabaraani reported in al-Mu'jam, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
�Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.
� (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, 1/4;. Al-Haythami said in Majma al-Zawaa'id, 1/52, �It was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and its isnaad is saheeh.)
This Hadith tells us that our faith will become weak but we will have to strengthen it with various actions and different good deeds. If we try to implement the following, Insha Allah it will help us all.
On a weekly basis, try to attend some Halaqah or an Islamic gathering.
That is a great way of keeping the battery of Iman and actions charged.
A good suggestion would be that you join some weekend or evening Islamic course or something of that sort. You will find good company there which will be a means of strengthening your faith and Iman. And when you feel like you are all burnt out�, there will be others there who will guide you and help you out and get you back up on your feet again.
Try to read some portion of the Quran everyday and make Zikr of Allah.
It will not be a bad idea to start off the day by reciting Surah Yaseen.
Try to have a daily Halaqah of reading from a Hadith book at home. The most widely used Hadith book in English is probably Riyadh us Salihin. Set aside a time at home, and try to sit down with other family members. It does not have to be long. Even five minutes or ten minutes will suffice.
A daily dose of the words of Allah and his beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam goes a long way in keeping us attached to our faith.
After prayers or whenever, try to recite as many times as possible the words which are mentioned in the following Hadith:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
�Do not forget to say in every prayer,
�Rabbi a�'nni 'ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni 'ibaadatika
(O Allah, help me to remember You, thank You and worship You properly.).� (al-Nasaa�i, 1303)
Sometimes we commit sins which eventually make us weak in our faith.
Islam will prevent us from sins....
or sins will prevent us from Islam.
Repenting
over past sins will not be a bad idea at all.
The way we have a habit of sinning, the same way, as soon as a sin is committed, we should make a habit of seeking forgiveness for our sins. We should never procrastinate because death could over take us anytime.
You also must understand that we all go through these weaknesses. We all have those moments when we don't feel like doing anything Islamic. Faith increases and decreases. This is natural and it will happen many times in our lives.
It is important to know that if a decrease in faith leads to one neglecting one's duties or doing Haram deeds, this slackening is very serious and one must repent to Allah and start to do something about it at once.
If it does not lead to neglect of duties and doing Haram deeds, but just makes a person fall short in doing Mustahabb (recommended) deeds, for example, then a person still needs to know how to sort herself out and correct herself until she returns to the proper level of energy and strength in worship.
This is what we learn from the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), �Every deed has energy and strength, and then this energy and strength is followed by a slackening, so who's slackening is in accordance to my Sunnah he will be fine, and who's slackening is to other than that
[i.e., doing unlawful or forbidden deeds] he will be doomed.�
(Reported by Ahmad, 2/210; Saheeh al-Targheeb, no. 55).
Read up on the benefits of performing Salat and harms of not performing them. Read those Ahadith again and again. Read up on the bounties of Paradise and Punishments of the Hell fire.
Remember the breaker of worldly pleasures i.e. death. Daqaq (R.A.) says,
Read up on the benefits of performing Salat and harms of not performing them. Read those Ahadith again and again. Read up on the bounties of Paradise and Punishments of the Hell fire.
Remember the breaker of worldly pleasures i.e. death. Daqaq (R.A.) says,
�Who ever remembers death frequently, will benefit in three ways:
he will hasten to repent, he will become content, and he will be active in worship.
Whoever forgets death will be punished in three ways:
he will delay repentance, he will no longer be content with what is sufficient,
and he will be lazy in worship.
� O Death! Where is thy long awaited sting? ...sigh��
Also:
Beseech Allah, turn to Him as a servant,
Also:
Beseech Allah, turn to Him as a servant,
asking Him to increase your iman so that you may taste the great sweetness that is found therein. The times before Fajr and Maghrib are
�great windows of opportunity
� as one great teacher repeatedly tells me
(may Allah preserve him),
so take advantage of them by praying and supplicating at those times in particular,
and all times in general.
Source : Online Islamic Academy
Rabu, April 8
5 Levels of Prayer
The Five Levels of Prayer
Ibn al-Qayyim writes in his book al-Wabil al-Sayyib:
"When it comes to prayer, people are of five levels:
* The first is the level of the one who wrongs himself and is negligent. He does not do wudu properly, or pray at the right time or make sure he does all the necessary parts of prayer.
* The second is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, but he has lost the battle against his own self and is overwhelmed with waswaas (insinuations).
* The third is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, and also strives against his own self and against waswaas, but he is preoccupied with his struggle against his enemy (Shaytan), lest he steal from his prayer, so he is engaged in salah and jihad at the same time.
* The fourth is one who when he stands up to pray, he fulfils all the requirements of the prayer, and his heart is fully focused and alert lest he omit anything, and his concern is to do the prayer properly and perfectly. His heart is deeply immersed in his prayer and worship of his Lord.
* The fifth is one who does all of that, but he takes his heart and places it before his Lord, looking at his Lord with his heart and focusing on Him, filled with love and adoration, as if he is actually seeing Him. That waswaas and those thoughts diminish, and the barriers between him and his Lord are lifted. The difference between the prayer of this person and the prayer of anyone is else is greater than the difference between heaven and earth. When this person prays, he is preoccupied with his Lord and content with Him.
The first type is punishable;
the second is accountable;
the third is striving so he is not counted as a sinner;
the fourth is rewarded and
the fifth is drawn close to his Lord, because he is one of those for whom prayer is a source of joy.
Ibn al-Qayyim writes in his book al-Wabil al-Sayyib:
"When it comes to prayer, people are of five levels:
* The first is the level of the one who wrongs himself and is negligent. He does not do wudu properly, or pray at the right time or make sure he does all the necessary parts of prayer.
* The second is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, but he has lost the battle against his own self and is overwhelmed with waswaas (insinuations).
* The third is one who observes the outward essentials of prayer, prays on time and does wudu, and also strives against his own self and against waswaas, but he is preoccupied with his struggle against his enemy (Shaytan), lest he steal from his prayer, so he is engaged in salah and jihad at the same time.
* The fourth is one who when he stands up to pray, he fulfils all the requirements of the prayer, and his heart is fully focused and alert lest he omit anything, and his concern is to do the prayer properly and perfectly. His heart is deeply immersed in his prayer and worship of his Lord.
* The fifth is one who does all of that, but he takes his heart and places it before his Lord, looking at his Lord with his heart and focusing on Him, filled with love and adoration, as if he is actually seeing Him. That waswaas and those thoughts diminish, and the barriers between him and his Lord are lifted. The difference between the prayer of this person and the prayer of anyone is else is greater than the difference between heaven and earth. When this person prays, he is preoccupied with his Lord and content with Him.
The first type is punishable;
the second is accountable;
the third is striving so he is not counted as a sinner;
the fourth is rewarded and
the fifth is drawn close to his Lord, because he is one of those for whom prayer is a source of joy.
Whoever finds their joy in prayer in this life, will find their joy in being close to Allah in the Hereafter, and will also find his joy in Allah in this world. Whoever finds his joy in Allah will be content with everything, and whoever does not find his joy in Allah, will be destroyed by his feelings of grief and regret for worldly matters."
Source: http://www.geocities.com/mutmainaa/prayer/5_levels.html
Jumaat, April 3
Deen List & Dean List
"Aman, ko tak semayang Maghrib lagi ke?
Dah nak masuk Isyak dah ni.
Tinggal berapa minit lagi ni" tegur Luqman kepada roomatenya.
"Ala, kejap jer lagi. Kul 8.30 jap lagi aku ada exam ni. Sket lagi nak study tajuk ni." jawab sahabatnya yang selalu mendapat Dean list di Kuliyyahnya.
"Pergi la sembahyang dulu. Kalau ko cemerlang dalam pelajaran sekalipun. Tapi, kalau ko tak cemerlang di akhirat tak guna jugak." tegur Luqman dengan nada yang agak tinggi.
"Hmm..ok la. Aku pergi sembahyang dulu la." Aman angkur dengan nasihat Luqman tadi.
"Barulah dapat dean list dan deen list juga" Luqman menghabiskan leterannya kepada sahabat baiknya itu.
Moral of the story.
Ingatlah, dunia ini sebenarnya tempat ujian/exam bagi kita. Segala apa yang kita lakukan adalah untuk mendapat deen list dari Allah SWT.
Kalau kita gagal di dalam peperiksaan, kita masih boleh repeat, boleh tukar subjek. Kalau direject universiti, kita masih boleh tukar tempat belajar lain.
Tetapi, klu kita tidak lulus exam dengan Allah SWT.
Kita bukan setakat di dismiss oleh Allah SWT.
Bahkan, kita bakal bertemu azab yang lebih pedih setimpal apa yang kita lakukan.
Pesan saya, sama-sama kita mencari deen list dulu untuk memberi
semangat dalam dean list kita.
Dengan cara:
Kena baca buku rajin-rajin yer
Kena fokus betul-betul
Jangan bagi jin atau setan2 kacau kita tgh study. (ni bukan anak jin yer, walaupun lebey kure jah) 
Jangan tenSion masa study
Selalu solat hajat, solat tahjud dan sunat yang lain dan last sekaliBanyakkan berdoa pada Allah dan tawakkal padaNYA sokmo.
Maka, jadilah kita pelajar cemerlang dunia dan akhirat.. :)INSYAALLAH
“Life like an education. The final examination for us is when we will meeting with Allah. That is our final destination”
Isnin, Mac 30
My IELTS a test of Iman!
I can only thank Allah for this blessing on me
For giving me sakina (calmness) in this tranquility
Thank you ya Allah for the test on me.
I should be grateful that Allah want give this test to me.
Hey why me? Why not others? I know He knows that I can make it. I am able to take it.
Do you know how it feel, when you just don’t get what you expect?
It’s kinda sad. But I believe it also a test from Him.
My friend’s IELTS result was pretty good. Michael! One of the result that quite a shock to me. He got 8. and for speaking, he got 7. Before that, I heard his story how terrible he did. Then I just said, have faith. Who know’s there will be miracle. Because he looks like very very down. Although when we just back from the test, in the bus, he still talk about the mistakes he did. Hmm..Although I’m quite satisfied that I could answer well but it just doesn’t mean everything goes well. Sometimes what you expect it will not be as it is. Then, I said to him, “don’t worry I’ll pray for you. How much you want? 7? 8?” He said, if can 7 but if 6.5 that’s just enough. Well, I have make a special prayer after that. I don’t know. After he told me how terrible he did, I really wish that Allah can give him chance. I pray hard for him. Seriously I did. But today, a bit sad to talk about the result I got. Why he got? Why I don’t?
Thank you Ya Allah for this test. Even the path is different from other people, I believe that to pay for re-sit IELTS RM530 is just ‘nothing’ as compared to the ‘lesson’ that I got. The price to ‘upgrade’ my iman and yakin. Only believe in Him.
And be not infirm, and be not grieving, and you shall have the upper hand if you are believers. ~Al –Imraan 3:139~
“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman.” (Ali-Imran:139)
*******
Bila orang tanya,"IELTS camne? "
aku menjawab lemah, "tak lepas.."
aduhai..lemah terasa! sendi2 ni ibarat bergetar je rasa..ya Allah..hebatnya ujian dari-Mu..
satu tarbiyah buat diriku.
iri terasa bersama teman2 yang lepas. iri..terasa sungguh.
tapi teman2 yang lepas, aku turut tumpang gembira. cuma mengenangkan aku? oh..
takperla. buat je apa yang termampu. aku pun bakal 're-sit' balik sabtu ni. dah bayaq pon. tak ya nak pk da. nak sedey pon, tarak guna.
cuma, perasaan tu masih ada. dan aku pasti, akan hilang jua. perasaan itu akan berganti. cuma perasaan itu mahu kuabadi dan rakam di sini. kerana perasaan itu akan hilang. dan aku mahu dia hilang.
Even, I saw my friend that succeed, and I'm not yet, they always give encouragement and support. like when I asked Michael about his IELTS and the tips to be good as him ( he got 9 for listening and 8 for reading! mmg salute), he said to me.." don't worry. you will be fine..." he said 2-3 times. and he said, "don't be sad. you will be ok.just be strong " ..
oh..thank you friend for the moral support. appreciate it so much. it's kinda hard on me. I know many people expect I'm doing well. Even me, expect it to be good and super-well. But it doesn't. and I knew He made this for reasons. I knew it and I believe in Him why He makes this to me, the only thing to make me closer to Him.
Sedey jugak bila orang tanye about my IELTS. bila cakap tak lepas. fuh.. lemah je terasa. now i could feel, how it feel if i still 'main-main' , tak serius, tak sungguh-sungguh. This 'test' really teach me a lot. Cukup2lah Qurratul. Now is time to focus. Now I can feel, what If I don't throw the 'laziness' in me now, then I will be hurt tomorrow. If I don't want this to happen on me later on, then please! You really need to CHANGE! Put more EFFORT! Pray hard! Work Hard! (its not you, its me by the way. it just like i'm talking to myself)
*******
walau apa pun, hari ni aku macam punya sedikit semangat. a bit spirit from Him. starting Saturday night I begin to have flu. and getting sick from yesterday until today. Feel so terrible, my body shaking and getting drowsy. But this morning, a bit feel like want to have 'fresh start'. Well, there something good to hear from other person today about me.
I have a speaking practice with Mr. Hanna this evening and he said a lot of good things to me. Like he said, "Ain, you had improved so much! Since I met you in July last year, and now is almost April, a lot of improvement. Your fluency, comprehend, and also your speaking. You improved a lot. It is because you being 'pushed' to be in English. You have to hear English and write and understand all in English.
Well, if you really want it, thats the thing you need to do. Get into it.
Another thing we talk about toursim. There is a question in the practice about the impact of tourism other than economy. I just can think of the answer. Then he said, are you sure you can't think any other thing? I said,"Hmm..I can't think any of it..""That maybe because of you don't really go around to other places.."
yeah. that's true. I don't really go anywhere..
Then he started to question me few things. and try to get to his points. after all, he point out about EXPOSURE.
by meet different people, expose with different people from other places, it can broaden the mind. How it broaden the mind? By having different ways in looking at a thing. another thing is, we can have cultural exchange. increase interaction among peoples. encourage social interaction. meet them, talk to them, learn the ways and have the IDEAS..
I wish and really hope I can have the exposures! that's why I need to fly! and go to Canada. espcially to be in Toronto where many different people from other parts of the world is there.
Hmm.. Being 'exposed' .
However, technically could it be good?
Ahad, Mac 29
Reasons to Study
Six reason to study
edited from my friend post
Why do I study though?
ONE. To gain Allah's blessings.
TWO. To get Mumtaz( achieve excellence), insyaAllah.(with God's will)
THREE. To be an educator
FOUR. To excel in something for once. for my own satisfaction and personal achievement
FIVE. It's fun! Hell yeah~
SIX. For the sake of knowledge itself.
edited from my friend post
Why do I study though?
ONE. To gain Allah's blessings.
TWO. To get Mumtaz( achieve excellence), insyaAllah.(with God's will)
THREE. To be an educator
FOUR. To excel in something for once. for my own satisfaction and personal achievement
FIVE. It's fun! Hell yeah~
SIX. For the sake of knowledge itself.
Dear Allah
I present myself this time as someone who begs for your blessings. I know I did not do much in the pass, I know I have done so much wrong. I am weak, I am stupid.
I have no right to be what I am today without You.
Dear Allah
I am not wishing for a miracle, I am wishing for the best for me, yet I am also wishing for the best that doesn't hurt.
Dear Allah
please make this heart strong, please make this mind clear for tomorrow's exam.
Dear Allah
please make me strong to overcome anything that might be holding me back, anything that may upset me for any reason.
Please, if possible, give me the best result for this exam.
I am a sinner, but I am Your humble servant.
I am doing all I can to be a better person and SERVANT.
I present myself this time as someone who begs for your blessings. I know I did not do much in the pass, I know I have done so much wrong. I am weak, I am stupid.
I have no right to be what I am today without You.
Dear Allah
I am not wishing for a miracle, I am wishing for the best for me, yet I am also wishing for the best that doesn't hurt.
Dear Allah
please make this heart strong, please make this mind clear for tomorrow's exam.
Dear Allah
please make me strong to overcome anything that might be holding me back, anything that may upset me for any reason.
Please, if possible, give me the best result for this exam.
I am a sinner, but I am Your humble servant.
I am doing all I can to be a better person and SERVANT.
credited
Fikri Prastanta
Late night,
280309
Fikri Prastanta
Late night,
280309
Ujian dari-Nya
Jangan bersedih dan berputus asa
credited by: Haslinda Lukman
Setiap individu baik remaja, dewasa atau orang tua, sudah semestinya pernah menghadapi masalah dalam hidup. Kata orang hidup tanpa masalah bukan hidup namanya. Berlegar dari masalah yang paling besar hinggalah masalah yang paling kecil, semuanya tetap dinamakan masalah. Cuma masalah yang dihadapi oleh seseorang itu berbeza. Bagaimana cara untuk mengatasinya juga adalah juga satu masalah. Namun hakikatnya setiap masalah pasti ada jalan keluarnya. Biasanya sebelum masalah itu selesai kita akan berasa sangat tertekan, hampir putus asa kerana tidak tahan menghadapinya.
Antara masalah yang wujud di persekitaran kita ialah masalah kemiskinan, kehilangan orang tersayang, masalah cinta, pertengkaran dengan ibu bapa, corot dalam peperiksaan serta beribu-ribu masalah lagi. Masalah juga boleh menyumbang kepada masalah yang lain, contohnya masalah remaja yang tidak tahan dengan leteran ibu bapanya boleh membawa remaja itu kepada masalah lepak, pergaulan bebas, dirogol, diculik dan juga mungkin dibunuh. Masalah yang kecil apabila tidak ditangani dengan baik boleh membawa kepada mudarat yang amat besar.
Setiap hari kita tidak akan terlepas dilanda dengan masalah, sekiranya bukan kita yang bermasalah, orang lain pula yang mendatangkan masalah. Oleh itu kita perlu bersedia menghadapi permasalahan tersebut dan
Mari kita renung sejenak apa sebenarnya maksud setiap masalah itu, kaedah untuk mengatasinya serta panduan menghadapi masalah dengan tenang.
UJIAN IMAN
- Masalah sebenarnya adalah ujian Allah kepada kita untuk mengukur sejauh mana tahap keimanan dan ketakwaan kita terhadap-Nya. Sebab sebagai manusia kita sering terlupa serta lalai dengan tanggungjawab kita sebagai hamba Allah apabila hidup kita sentiasa dilimpahi kesenangan dan kemewahan. Lebih-lebih lagi ketika usia remaja, hidup penuh dengan keseronokan dan sentiasa ingin mencuba sesuatu yang baru walaupun perkara itu jelas haram di sisi agama dan menyalahi undang-undang dunia, contohnya mengambil dadah dan hanyut dengan maksiat, dengan adanya ujian seperti ini, ia akan kembali mengingati apakah hidup kita selama ini mengikuti peraturan atau landasan yang telah ditetapkan oleh Allah ataupun telah jauh menyimpang.
- Setiap masalah, kesukaran, kesakitan dan apa jua yang menyeksa jiwa adalah merupakan ujian dari Allah untuk menguji sejauh mana iman kita. Iman perlu kepada ujian. Ini jelas sebagaimana maksud firman Allah :
“Adakah manusia itu menyangka bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; “Kami telah beriman,” sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang berdusta.” (Al-Ankabut: 2 - 3)
DARJAT DI SISI ALLAH
Ujian atau dugaan yang datang adalah dari Allah, sama ada ujian itu sebagai ‘kifarah’ dosa yang telah kita lakukan atau untuk mengangkat darjat kita di sisi-Nya. Allah juga tidak menduga hamba-hamba-Nya tanpa mengambil kira kesanggupannya atau keupayaan mereka untuk menghadapinya, ujian dan dugaan yang diturunkan Allah kepada hambanya adalah seiring dengan keupayaan individu itu untuk menyelesaikan masalahnya. Ini bersesuaian dengan firman Allah yang bermaksud:
“Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan dengan kesanggupannya�. (Al-Baqarah: 286)
- Oleh itu sekiranya kita berhadapan dengan masalah, cubalah bawa bertenang, bersabar dan tetapkan dalam minda bahawa kita sedang diuji oleh Allah, orang yang melepasi ujian itu adalah orang yang berjaya dan mendapat kedudukan yang mulia di sisi Allah.
“Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mukmin, diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan Syurga untuk mereka.” (At-Taubah: 111)
CARA MENGATASI MASALAH
1. Sandarkan Harapan Pada Allah
Setiap ujian yang datang sebenarnya mempunyai banyak hikmah di sebaliknya. Yakinlah bahawa setiap kesusahan yang kita tempuhi pasti akan diganti dengan kesenangan. Ini bersesuaian dengan firman Allah dalam surah Al-Insyirah ayat 1-8 yang antara lain maksudnya “ …Sesungguhnya selepas kesulitan itu pasti ada kemudahan….�
“Cukuplah Allah bagiku. Tidak ada Tuhan selain dari-Nya. Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakal.” (At-Taubah: 129)
2. Minta Pertolongan Dari Allah
“Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan yang sabar dan dengan mengerjakan solat; dan sesungguhnya solat itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk.” (Al-Baqarah: 45)
3. Jangan Sedih dan Kecewa
“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman.” (Ali-Imran:139)
Yakinlah dengan janji Allah itu dan jangan cepat putus asa dengan masalah yang dihadapi sebaliknya tingkatkan usaha dan kuatkan semangat untuk mengatasinya, lihat maksud firman Allah di bawah:
“ …dan janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yang kafirâ€� (Yusuf : 12)
4. Luahkan masalah tersebut pada teman-teman yang dipercayai, walaupun dia mungkin tidak dapat membantu, tetapi sekurang-kurangnya ia dapat meringankan beban yang kamu tanggung.
5. Bandingkan masalah kita dengan masalah orang lain, mungkin masalah orang lebih besar dari masalah kita, perkara ini juga boleh membuatkan kita lebih tenang ketika menyelesaikan masalah.
PENUTUP
Ujian yang datang juga tandanya Allah sayangkan kita. Jadi ambillah masa untuk menilai diri dan meningkatkan ketakwaan kita kepada Allah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan. Lakukanlah untuk mencari redha Allah. Fikir dengan positif bahawa setiap dugaan datang dari Allah dan pasti ada hikmah yang tersendiri.
“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” (Al-Baqarah: 216)
· "Membiarkan orang lain sahaja yang bermotivasi dalam memperolehi pahala bukanlah sifat orang beriman. Jangan biarkan kata-kata negatif orang terhadap sesuatu yang baik untuk akhirat anda, membantutkan semangat. Jadikan ia pendorong dan motivasi..."
(Ust Hj Zaharuddin Hj Abd Rahman)
Rabu, Mac 18
Leave your prejudice!
I believe.
When you believe He is The Most Forgiveness
Repent is the only way for you to have a fresh 'start'
To have a fresh start, it means
to move foward and forget everything you’ve done
to have anything that u never have before - perhaps His Bless -
to sacrifice things that you 'love' but not things that you need
to let go anything that not your own but His own
anything it is, what is done is done
and it can't be undone if u don't like it.
but there's always room for CHANGE..
all the great experience u've had, the ups and downs..
those are precious..
something to treasure and to ponder upon treading a different path..
sometimes past mistakes will haunt us
and make us afraid to move foward
to run to the happiness
instead of 'happiness' of right now
whereas actually, you know something that maybe many people dont even know bout it
fears are there to be conquered..
our own faults, our own mistakes,
should not be the stone for us to proceed to gain His Bless
and get out from the 'darkness' of the life
However, can a fresh start really be a fresh start?
Yes. It can be.
Things you do will still haunt you
but remember it is a part of life that you need to live with it.
what had past, is qadho' and qadha. sudah suatu ketetapan.
He had set all that.
but in future and right now,
Allah knows everything.
You never know what is good for you
even you never know what is set for you
so please dont make conclusion
dont make judgement
dont prejudice to yourselve, and to Him
and what in your heart is much more important
and also what you are doing
Things you lose, you will gain back
Things you sacrifice will demand it’s pay
Because Paradise is only open to one that willing to pay
and also from His rahmat
Things you let go will occasionally come back
It will happen when you choose it to be.
There's always have such thing as 'Fresh start'
as you choose it
you choose the way that could lead your life out from darkness
You got one chance to live
One chance to make any decision
Live with it
Live with your decision
Learn from the consequences
Suffer from the catastrophes
Clocks are ticking clockwise
Nothing, nothing you can do to make it reversed
Live with the decision
Yes you could. create yourr life as you wish.
but to have a life as Allah's wish is rhe main thing
It is not easy as ABC
but it also not so hard to do as long as you know
what is the most essential thing in this life - His Bless -
as you will return to Him at last.
How to have a fresh start?
You dont need a start
because you've already started your life
When you believe He is The Most Forgiveness
Repent is the only way for you to have a fresh 'start'
To have a fresh start, it means
to move foward and forget everything you’ve done
to have anything that u never have before - perhaps His Bless -
to sacrifice things that you 'love' but not things that you need
to let go anything that not your own but His own
anything it is, what is done is done
and it can't be undone if u don't like it.
but there's always room for CHANGE..
all the great experience u've had, the ups and downs..
those are precious..
something to treasure and to ponder upon treading a different path..
sometimes past mistakes will haunt us
and make us afraid to move foward
to run to the happiness
instead of 'happiness' of right now
whereas actually, you know something that maybe many people dont even know bout it
fears are there to be conquered..
our own faults, our own mistakes,
should not be the stone for us to proceed to gain His Bless
and get out from the 'darkness' of the life
However, can a fresh start really be a fresh start?
Yes. It can be.
Things you do will still haunt you
but remember it is a part of life that you need to live with it.
what had past, is qadho' and qadha. sudah suatu ketetapan.
He had set all that.
but in future and right now,
Allah knows everything.
You never know what is good for you
even you never know what is set for you
so please dont make conclusion
dont make judgement
dont prejudice to yourselve, and to Him
and what in your heart is much more important
and also what you are doing
Things you lose, you will gain back
Things you sacrifice will demand it’s pay
Because Paradise is only open to one that willing to pay
and also from His rahmat
Things you let go will occasionally come back
It will happen when you choose it to be.
There's always have such thing as 'Fresh start'
as you choose it
you choose the way that could lead your life out from darkness
You got one chance to live
One chance to make any decision
Live with it
Live with your decision
Learn from the consequences
Suffer from the catastrophes
Clocks are ticking clockwise
Nothing, nothing you can do to make it reversed
Live with the decision
Yes you could. create yourr life as you wish.
but to have a life as Allah's wish is rhe main thing
It is not easy as ABC
but it also not so hard to do as long as you know
what is the most essential thing in this life - His Bless -
as you will return to Him at last.
How to have a fresh start?
You dont need a start
because you've already started your life
and when u didnt want me
I wanted you because
The funny things about it is
I Iiked the show
I like it when it's difficult
I like it when it's hard
Then you know it's worth it
That you found your heart
Finding your heart
I wanted you because
The funny things about it is
I Iiked the show
I like it when it's difficult
I like it when it's hard
Then you know it's worth it
That you found your heart
Finding your heart
Khamis, Mac 12
Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah 12 MAC
hari ni 12 Mac 2009
mengimbau kenangan silam setahun lepas
12 Mac 2008. pukul 12 tengahari.
masih ingat. 12 November SPM bermula. 4 november, kertas terakhir aku jawab, bahasa arab tinggi kertas 2. yang jawab sampai nangis2. tapi lepas habis jawab, awan yang aku pandang tulah awan yang paling aku suka dalam hidupku. sejuk memandang..hati lapang n tenang. perasaan lega tak terkira. ingat lagi dengan baju sekolah putih, tudung labuh putih, kasut hitam n kain biru..
ohh..zaman sekolah. rindunya..
tanggal yang sama. ada apa dengan hari ini?
yea..hari ini dalam sejarah.Result SPM keluar!!!
mengimbau kenangan aku..hoho..ingat lagi..dub dab dub dab dalam kereta dengan izlina.sahabat karib..n .dalam kereta. amik dgn mama. aku pakai baju kurung(baju raya) pink. dengan tudung labuh. (saje nk pakai tudung labuh) then dgn bag coklat bunga besar. hmm..tak tau patut rasa apa. sampai2 je. mcm da orang kurang. *(saje pergi lambat).
sampai perkarangan sekolah, dah nampak cikgu stand by kat tempat letak basikal. aku masa tu, takut nak amik. seminit sebelum cikgu bagi result, aku kecut. rasa nak nangis sangat2...takut..
sebab iz dah amik. aku da tak peduli apa dah. mama kat tepi. cikgu jalini merangkap cikgu kimia n guru kelas aku, tanya
" ha..Qurratul..awak target berapa?"
"aa..err...ermm..ntah..12..(walau pun tak rasa mcm dapat 12. tapi mmg lazim, aku target jarang rendah2..)"
" ha..tahniah..awak dapat 10."
aku macam tekejut.ya Allah. betul ke ape akud dengar nih.. 10? macam tak percaya. syukur terasa. walau jauh dari target aku(yang mmg angan melangit nak dapat 12 or 14)..
hmm dalam trial nk dpt 10 A tu mmg 'harapan' r. standard dapat 5. itu pun susah. biasa dapat 3-4 A. tapi aku mmg optimis SPM boleh dapat lebeh. based on experience lepas2..upsr, pmr, spm.
aku yakin, SPm pun tak kurang beza. sejarah pasti berulang!
Yeah..mengimbau kenangan silam..hidup punya suka duka.hari ni hatiku mendung. tapi mengenang kenangan silam, buat aku tersenyum sendiri. apalah nasib dak2 junior aku? hoho..tika ini, waktu ini, satu sejarah dalam hidupku..detik bermakna, dan detik kebahagiaan dan cabaran mengundang.
sekejap terasa masa beralih.
tup2 dah setahun.
satu tahun ni macam2 berlaku dlam hidup..
transisi kehidupan..
more to come after this..
mengimbau kenangan silam setahun lepas
12 Mac 2008. pukul 12 tengahari.
masih ingat. 12 November SPM bermula. 4 november, kertas terakhir aku jawab, bahasa arab tinggi kertas 2. yang jawab sampai nangis2. tapi lepas habis jawab, awan yang aku pandang tulah awan yang paling aku suka dalam hidupku. sejuk memandang..hati lapang n tenang. perasaan lega tak terkira. ingat lagi dengan baju sekolah putih, tudung labuh putih, kasut hitam n kain biru..
ohh..zaman sekolah. rindunya..
tanggal yang sama. ada apa dengan hari ini?
yea..hari ini dalam sejarah.Result SPM keluar!!!
mengimbau kenangan aku..hoho..ingat lagi..dub dab dub dab dalam kereta dengan izlina.sahabat karib..n .dalam kereta. amik dgn mama. aku pakai baju kurung(baju raya) pink. dengan tudung labuh. (saje nk pakai tudung labuh) then dgn bag coklat bunga besar. hmm..tak tau patut rasa apa. sampai2 je. mcm da orang kurang. *(saje pergi lambat).
sampai perkarangan sekolah, dah nampak cikgu stand by kat tempat letak basikal. aku masa tu, takut nak amik. seminit sebelum cikgu bagi result, aku kecut. rasa nak nangis sangat2...takut..
sebab iz dah amik. aku da tak peduli apa dah. mama kat tepi. cikgu jalini merangkap cikgu kimia n guru kelas aku, tanya
" ha..Qurratul..awak target berapa?"
"aa..err...ermm..ntah..12..(walau pun tak rasa mcm dapat 12. tapi mmg lazim, aku target jarang rendah2..)"
" ha..tahniah..awak dapat 10."
aku macam tekejut.ya Allah. betul ke ape akud dengar nih.. 10? macam tak percaya. syukur terasa. walau jauh dari target aku(yang mmg angan melangit nak dapat 12 or 14)..
hmm dalam trial nk dpt 10 A tu mmg 'harapan' r. standard dapat 5. itu pun susah. biasa dapat 3-4 A. tapi aku mmg optimis SPM boleh dapat lebeh. based on experience lepas2..upsr, pmr, spm.
aku yakin, SPm pun tak kurang beza. sejarah pasti berulang!
Yeah..mengimbau kenangan silam..hidup punya suka duka.hari ni hatiku mendung. tapi mengenang kenangan silam, buat aku tersenyum sendiri. apalah nasib dak2 junior aku? hoho..tika ini, waktu ini, satu sejarah dalam hidupku..detik bermakna, dan detik kebahagiaan dan cabaran mengundang.
sekejap terasa masa beralih.
tup2 dah setahun.
satu tahun ni macam2 berlaku dlam hidup..
transisi kehidupan..
more to come after this..
My Love..is only for Him
L.O.V.E
Love ...
Would make you blind
But it matters when love blinds me from seing Allah’s light
Love
Would make you forget
I don’t care to much if I couldn’t remember
But it matter when love makes me forget Allah
Love ...
Makes you a fool
I don’t care so much in being a fool
But it matter if I am a fool in telling the difference between right and wrong
Love makes you happy
But why should I be happy
When I should be grieving for disobeying Allah’s order
Love
needs a lot of sacrifice
I am willing to sacrifice
But why should I sacrifice, if it is not for Allah?
Love..
Why should I love
If it is not for Allah
(i got from a video clip. credit to one that make it.dunno who)
andai diri ini mampu membahagiakan insan yang hampir denganku,
pastikan ku kejar bahagia itu
agar hidup lebih terasa nikmatnya
walau diriku tak perolehi apapun
walau tiada imbalan
biarlah Dia yang membalas segalaNya
aku mahu berlari ke arah pelangi
aku mahu berlari ke arah awan
puncak langit yang tertinggi
berlari sebebas yang ku mahu
hari ini
dikau menemaniku
teman ku yang plaing setia
adalah titisan air mata
yang sangat setia menemani
tanpa kupinta kehadirannya
dia datang dan pergi
mendung di hati
mengembalikan ku sujud padaMu
kerana kutahu
hanya padaMu
tempat ku mengadu.
Ya Allah...
Ku seru namamu
Kembali pada Mu..
pelihara aku dari melalakukan laranganMu..
12:30PM
monolog hati
taylor's library
Love ...
Would make you blind
But it matters when love blinds me from seing Allah’s light
Love
Would make you forget
I don’t care to much if I couldn’t remember
But it matter when love makes me forget Allah
Love ...
Makes you a fool
I don’t care so much in being a fool
But it matter if I am a fool in telling the difference between right and wrong
Love makes you happy
But why should I be happy
When I should be grieving for disobeying Allah’s order
Love
needs a lot of sacrifice
I am willing to sacrifice
But why should I sacrifice, if it is not for Allah?
Love..
Why should I love
If it is not for Allah
(i got from a video clip. credit to one that make it.dunno who)
andai diri ini mampu membahagiakan insan yang hampir denganku,
pastikan ku kejar bahagia itu
agar hidup lebih terasa nikmatnya
walau diriku tak perolehi apapun
walau tiada imbalan
biarlah Dia yang membalas segalaNya
aku mahu berlari ke arah pelangi
aku mahu berlari ke arah awan
puncak langit yang tertinggi
berlari sebebas yang ku mahu
hari ini
dikau menemaniku
teman ku yang plaing setia
adalah titisan air mata
yang sangat setia menemani
tanpa kupinta kehadirannya
dia datang dan pergi
mendung di hati
mengembalikan ku sujud padaMu
kerana kutahu
hanya padaMu
tempat ku mengadu.
Ya Allah...
Ku seru namamu
Kembali pada Mu..
pelihara aku dari melalakukan laranganMu..
12:30PM
monolog hati
taylor's library
Rabu, Mac 4
Perasaan Bahagia
Perasaan itu sungguh indah.
Bila tiba rasa bahagia,
tiada rasa yang dapat diungkap,
tiada kata yang dapat terluah.
Hati merasai, jiwa menerangi.
Subur di lubuk hati.
Andai bahagia kan datang menjelma,
pasti ku mahu ia biar selamanya di dalam jiwa
Namun rasa bahagia ini tidak mampu ku simpan
Andai mampu dikongsi rasa ini, kuharap ada insan yang dapat menemani
untuk mengisi ruang hidup ini.
Andai bahagia mampu ku kejar,
ku harap, mampu ku berlari mengejarnya
walau mungkin ia sekadar mimpi
namun tidak semua mimpi itu hanya sekadar khayalan
kerana ia bakal menjadi satu impian
dan pasti ku mahu impian itu menjadi sebuah realiti
dalam Doa ku pasrah,
ku dambakan sebuah kebahagiaan
yang tulus mulus di dalam jiwa
menjadi bunga, penawar diri
jua penawar mereka di sisi.
~penyejuk mata = penyeri hidup~
Tiada yang lebih kudamba dalam hidup ini
dari sebuah pengertian hidup
yang tidak berpanjangan
kemuliaan dan kehormatan di sisiNya
yang hanya mampu 'dibayar' dan dibeli
melalui amal, taqwa, sabar, dan jihad
Hati hanya mampu menduga.
Hati hanya mampu mengharap
tepat masa dan waktu,
hati jua tidak lagi ragu
melangkah ke dimensi waktu yang berliku itu.
Hidup ini hanya sementara.
walau belum mampu,
namun jauh di sudut hati,
selalu rasa mahu.
Moga keinginan membina kekuatan diri
yang mencabar keupayaan diri
demi mencari makna hidup ini.
Bila tiba rasa bahagia,
tiada rasa yang dapat diungkap,
tiada kata yang dapat terluah.
Hati merasai, jiwa menerangi.
Subur di lubuk hati.
Andai bahagia kan datang menjelma,
pasti ku mahu ia biar selamanya di dalam jiwa
Namun rasa bahagia ini tidak mampu ku simpan
Andai mampu dikongsi rasa ini, kuharap ada insan yang dapat menemani
untuk mengisi ruang hidup ini.
Andai bahagia mampu ku kejar,
ku harap, mampu ku berlari mengejarnya
walau mungkin ia sekadar mimpi
namun tidak semua mimpi itu hanya sekadar khayalan
kerana ia bakal menjadi satu impian
dan pasti ku mahu impian itu menjadi sebuah realiti
dalam Doa ku pasrah,
ku dambakan sebuah kebahagiaan
yang tulus mulus di dalam jiwa
menjadi bunga, penawar diri
jua penawar mereka di sisi.
~penyejuk mata = penyeri hidup~
Tiada yang lebih kudamba dalam hidup ini
dari sebuah pengertian hidup
yang tidak berpanjangan
kemuliaan dan kehormatan di sisiNya
yang hanya mampu 'dibayar' dan dibeli
melalui amal, taqwa, sabar, dan jihad
Hati hanya mampu menduga.
Hati hanya mampu mengharap
tepat masa dan waktu,
hati jua tidak lagi ragu
melangkah ke dimensi waktu yang berliku itu.
Hidup ini hanya sementara.
walau belum mampu,
namun jauh di sudut hati,
selalu rasa mahu.
Moga keinginan membina kekuatan diri
yang mencabar keupayaan diri
demi mencari makna hidup ini.
Hari yang bahagia. ^_^ Alhamdulillah.
A happy day in my life.
Dear Diary,
Today is a fine day to me. I should express it because it is rarely happen I guess. I want to express how it feel and what I've done until I got this type of feeling.
I don't know how to describe it in English, but in Malay, I could say that I feel so bahagia. Is bahagia is equivalent to happy? I feel satisfied, I feel good and also fine. Yeah, it think probably it make sense.
I wish that I could have this feeling for most of the time. BAHAGIA.
Hati yang tenang, jiwa yang lapang, sungguh berlapang dada. yang aku jarang-jarang rasakan. Ibarat, seluruh dunia 'tunduk' padaku. Bukanlah tunduk bermakna aku berkuasa, tapi, rasa macam ..entahla. Rasa yang aku rasai, aku yakin dan percaya lebih baik dari seluruh isi dunia.
Yes, jiwa yang lapang, hati yang tenang. dan perasaan bahagia yang hadir.
I don't know why. But I feel I'm alive today. I feel I am 'somebody' around my circle. People acknowledge my existence and I trying to acknowledge them that I am exist in this world. By the way, it is not that deep as well, I still don't feel I impact them so much.
Well, actually today I have my IELTS speaking test. In a longer word to say, International Examination Language Test System (IELTS). I've been practiced since past few days. Actually, I tried to be familiar with interview session that one-to-one since 3weeks a go, My first meeting or 'dating' was with Mr.Hanna. I asked him to coach me and evaluate me asa well. I made the preparation for this test and I feel good about it.
By the way, thats not the main reason why I feel this way today. Today, not so much things happen but I start my day with very positive act. This is my experiences. That I hope by expressing it, someday this kind of feeling still remain as I will try to keep this 'moment' and try to keep myself doing what I've done. I believe that experience is the best teacher ever. I believe the policy is absolutely true. Even if it is not your exprience but still if it is an experience it will always be the best thing ever to learn a lesson.
Well, I think I should start about what I got or what I did yesterday. As I believe that today will not be as today if I don't do anything from yesterday. The success of today is because what I did in yesterday. I feel that today is my 'success day'. Why? There are few reasons why I said so. The main thing is, I feel good about myself. It is not the feeling I'm better than others but it is just I feel good in doing good things.
What I did today, yeah I met people. I greet them. I told them(almost every person that I met and I knew including the librarian at the counter) I am going to have my IELTS speaking test today. Almost every person that I knew on road. Today is like a 'big' day. It is just the sense to make the day good and succeed. I smile to most people. I treat them very nice. Smile, talked with civil and most of the time in positive mood. The reason I greet them and told them I'm going to have IELTS speaking test, is because I want their support. I like to hear some kind of inspiration from other people. That wish me luck, wish me all the best. It is like to tell everybody in this world, "Hey..I'm going to have my IELTS speaking!!". and it feel great when you have moral support from people that you know. Of course it is hard to get support eventually from people that you never know before.
Especially when it comes from person that you loved, loved the most, love a little as olong you still feel kinda have the love for the person, yeah. It is different. Compared to person that you know. By the way, i;m not going to compared them, as I love them so much. Once I get some kind of moral support, I start to feel good. People give me some tips, and advice. I took it as a guide.
Here, I feel that nothing can replace the good relationship among ourselve and the people around us. Seriously, I feel that having good relationship and don't ever hurt people is very important. As you can't survive in this world alone. When I start to walk out from library, after watched few videos, I found Maryam. That 'seakhowat' with me. I just feel like I want to salam someone at that time and have a little hug. Actually not hug but kinda common thing that we used to do after pray or even when we met. But i could feel she feel quite weird to do that in public. Ahha. it's okay. I don't know. At that time I feel support from the sense of touch. And then I met Husna on the way to IDP ( the exam's take place). This time, she is more natural to give me like little hug and kiss. not really kiss actually. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it in word even in Malay. After talk a few moment, and so much advice and wished I got from her, as she said, she always pray for me, and I'll be fine. That's enough to me.
When I walk away, I talked to myself. "Hey Qurratul. See you got so much people behind you. Wish you and support you. Of course you can do it. I knew I can! Show to them my ability. I can do this!"
At this time, my self-image is super positive. I love myself. One important thing in life also it to feel love for yourself. I feel that important. I don't know how toerrible is life, when people start to hate themselve so much. I feel good to feel love myself. That's a good feeling though. That's why I said, today I feel succeed for some extent.
Oh yeah, I'm not going to story from A-Z what she asked me in the test session I'm just going to express how it feel once you feel good and what makes I feel good. Before I go further and keep talk about it, after I finish my test, and walk out from the exam's place, I feel like I want to tell everyone in this world .."Hey I'm done!!". Yeah. The same thing went on, I keep talking about my experience to people that I know and also I don't really know but explain to him the experience that I've been through and my advice. Him? Yeah. Him. I just know someone in that class that going to have IELTS sooner, My feeling is like, okay I really want to tell him something about my experience. Actually, I'm thinking twice before I talked to him. In my mind, "Oh,,he is a guy..should I talked to him? I don't ever know him before!". Of course I feel shy, to talk to guy, especially the one that I never knew or never talked before, but as I think, I really want to tell my expreience, then I just carry on.
That also makes me feel good. I feel good to doing good to people. THat I hope I can benefit them I suppose. Even a barrier between the relationsip between man and woman. I believe that, it shouldnt be a barrier if you are really sincere and know what you want. and the main thing, not exceed the limit.
Yeah. Most people that know me, knew that I had IELTS speaking test. And mostly they asked me, how was it? I reply most the same thing to people. " Yeah..the question ot so bad..she asked me about swimming, hometown, stages of life that I enjoyed the most, the adults and responsibilities..." before I met people, I messaged mama first. Express how I feel. To me expression is so important. I can't just stand with the feeling without express it to anyone. I guess that's nature. I can't keep inside. I really want somone that I could express what I feel, and what I've go through. And I message 5 peoples. with same message.
" Salam. I've done my IELTS speaking test. The question not so bad. I got .(...bla2...). Right now, need to focus on listening, reading and writing test that will be on this saturday. Do pray for my success."
Well, this is what I did before having the test, I try to tell most people that I know especially person like my parents. I hope for their pray. RESTU. Really important and once u got it, u will feel very good. Even, if you not really capable, at least you feel able to go through the circumstance that you might face. Just hear, that mama and abah, alway doas for me, it just enough to me. I have someone that I could rely on for now.
And, mama replied to me, well done. Oh yeah. the 5 people that I message were mama, husna, cikgu jalini, abah, and laili. laili one of my close friend. cikgu jalini because fortunately, she message me yesterday (since long time never sms her). yeah. I think it is important to to acknowledge guru. Because, they are just like our parents. And their doa is so much powerful. Once I got some kind if inpiration from them, i feel good. I'm not looking down at myself. I feel I am 'somebody' because I got some 'recognition' from someone that I knew.
Hmm..I'm start to crapping lot. Now it's alreaday 40 minutes already. Wow. Time moves so fast!
By the way, this is my story. Oh yeah. One of the best thing that happen today, is not entirely about IELTS but today, fortunately I've did something that impressed other people. It feel good when someone said, "I am impressed". I know, it is not so good to feel so good about yourself but I think I need space for myself. To have some kind of pleasure is imporant so that I gain my own confidence.
Yeah. today I transfer my english class from period 2 to period 4. They did discussion about the caricatures and one interesting thing was, Mr. Ben brought like a crumple of newspaper that looks like a toy and he wants the one that got the 'thing' have to lead the class for discussion. Facilitate them to be in discussion. Actually, I don't why after I done my IELTS, and when I step to the class, I still feel the 'dub dab dub dab' feeling. I don't know what makes me nervous. even IELTS Speaking test had over! Perhaps the excited feeling that I felt? It could be. I feel so excited! Well, I feel that at time, no wonder I feel that feeling, because after the moment, I got the 'thing' and I am needed to conduct the class. " Oh man..is this for real? to replace Mr. Ben's job? although for a minute..It really need a confidence to do that"
Well, actually when he explained about the procedure, that the facilitator are not going to teach but just to make sure the discussion keep on and also facilitate the clasas to understand and bring up to the story. Put some insight and gain some ideas and inspiration. Thats what he/she's job. When I heard about that, My feeling at that time, kinda nervous. I feel " hey..I want to try.." I thought like, it's going to be voluteer. I am ready to raise my hand. But it is not. As I mentioned, the one that have the 'thing' are going to conduct the class discussion. But at the end, I never expect I get the 'chance' as I wish. That thing really on my desk. Somone just throw and it is on my desk directly. As I thought before, "yeah.the thing will not going to me, coz I'm new in class. nobody will give it to me. coz they don't really know me. " but at the end, it comes just like I wish but I never expect it for the very first place. I'm a bit surprise at first. I can't believe it. I respond like .." Are you now, me? right now? conduct the class? " and mr. ben said yeah..before that she said, you are a scholar..n something..i can't really catch his word. and at that time I still feel hesitate to go in front and take charge because I feel that the one that conduct the discussion at that time was very good. but when it comes to my turn, I don't believe it I need to conduct the class until everyone in class looking at me, and wait, then I believe. Yeah. I need to conduct the discussion although at first I wish to but when the times come and you don't expect it to be as you wish..I just happen.
I try my best to do what I could do with the class. I just stared with " Okay..lets move one our discussion.."and ask few things to the class.. As today, I wear formal attire, I could feel good and confident. There is a friend that I know keep smiling at me that I take it as a 'support' I knew by her smile means ''Go, Ain.."..A cheerful smile. I smile back and her and try what I could do. I just act normal and naturally. Although At first a bit shaky. How should I start. What should I say? that's came up in my mind. But at last, I did it gracefully. and the discussion move smoothly not as what I expect. I never expect to 'perform' on that day. I manage to get people talk, gaining ideas from different people, asking few questions and asking about their opinion whether they agree or disagree. (of course most of them agree but then I start to ask question that more about guessing and based on free-opinion).
For example , "Do you think that the Mr.Gardiner's social status can change? how? .." then after hear few opinions from my fellow classmates, I make assumption by saying to the whole class, "to change or upgrade status means to married with people that has higher social status in the society. Do you agree? " and then a guy, raise his hand and said, no. Not necessary. he expressed his opinion about work and effort.
Yeah. after that, I just endup the discussion by just smiling and err err to MR.Ben. Mr. Ben just take charge the class after all. He start to conclude the 'peformance' of the class. He said, "it is really amazing to see the leadership in some of us" At first, start with (someone that I forgot his name) and then, goes to Sarah. That I know Sarah can lead the discussion but she don't really want to talk more to people. and I knew at the very first place, Jeff want to take the 'thing'. He wants to lead so much. And it is suprising, after the 'thing' went to other group just after 10 minutes it goes back to Jeff. It is like Jeff talking to the 'thing' "I really want it."" because he really loves to lead. But at the very first, I really don't want to give it to Jeff, I want find someone other than him because he really want it. Next, we see, Ain take place the show. and she did a very good job. Make people discussed, asking discussion question and try to balance up. make people understand. and that's very good. .."
I want him to talk more. but seems like the time is very limited. and I actually wait the time to go and tell my expreience to the guy that I know going to have IELTS. however, before it, Mr. Ben come to talked to me after class, but still in class, he said, " you are really good in leadership. I feel impressed. You asked people, get people to talk, you feel very comfortable don't you?" And I was like..err..yeah..perhaps.." and you seems like you are very ready to go and take charge the class.." I just keep quiet and just keep smiling. In my heart,like...hoho.. did you know that..haha..althoug I wish it, but I never expect it to be soo good. and he said once again, he so impressed of me. and I smile and just glad and said alhamdulillah in my heart. after that, I thank him for the class.
By the way, there is a feeling at time, " hey..Q..show your ability to people that you can speak english very well!" . Thats the spirit from IELTS speaking test. and I feel that it still keep inside and remain in myself until I take charge the class discusiion. That's why there still have the 'passion'
yeah. thats it. that's my story today. I knew, this post is longer as I've been writing almost for an hour without stop. But I feel it is an 'inner' achievement that I felt today. Feeling good, confidence, brave and nice. Be nice to everybody. Always. Another achievement that I felt, is I'm not manage to overcome my hesitation to ask for clarification. For example, it begins with the IELTS speaking test, I asked question for clarification and the exminer respond with examples. Even she had clarify it, I asked pulak for repeatin g question. I think and I feel it is achievement for me. Because, I used to be afraid to ASK before. So, I feel it is an achievement. I also, managed to overcome my sleepiness in my data class. I feel good, when my teacher respond to me. Have attention. I start asking question that I don't really understand what she' talking. Not in data class, but also in law class. There is a word that Mr.Hanna said..that I don't know that word. And I asked what does it mean by Taboo. what's that. And i got the feedback. Not only from Mr. Hanna but also from other people in the class. My classmate, one of it, try to explain to me in malay, but of course people around not understand, including mr. Hanna, but after a while he try to explain in english, and I respond by trying to express whether is it right what I understood so far with their explaination.
Yeah. Asking for clarification, really makes me feel good.
By all means, as I mentioned earlier, today will not be as today, I do nothing yesterday. I think, yesterday really affect my day today. For example, if i'm not mistaken, yesterday I read something about istighfar in LAN class and I apply it this morning. I think it really works. Based on what I read, istighfar itu menghilangkan kedukaan, kalau ada masalah, hati rungsing, akan jadi lapang, di sebalik mohon diampun dosa, mohon rahmat Allah, and banyak la fadhilat dari banyak istighfar. At the moment, I just realize, wow..this is amazing. Terlepas pandang about kelebihan the importance of istighfar. rasa mcm nk post kat iluv je. really menyedarkan. and then, I went back to Casa, having little chit chat with my housemates(rarely i have so much chit chat with them . thats quite bad. ), a bit 'gossip' and I read quite much actually. I cook rice and eat with daging(bcoz I really need iron due to the blood that i 'missed'), with sayur and also tauhu telur. I'm so full. and after that doing some practices speaking with Natalie. She willing to do favor by asking me question using the module. after a while, I 'flat' already. I unable to do anything, I just jumpt straight away into my bed, and not wake up. I don't know. At that moment, I feel my body a bit heavy at the bottom. Maybe because I eat carb and heavily. Before that, I take soya with gula merah.
This morning, I wake up a bit early from other day, Allah wakes me up. around 4.45. The first thing that I did, I remember in my dream to write things that I should consider when speaking. 1) avoid mmm...
That's the first thing in my mind. After finish listing things to consider and aware of, I recite doa that I used to read every morning. Yeah, most probably the reason I feel so good today, because I begin with good. I believe with what abah used to say to me always. "Cemerlang awal, akan cemerlang akhirnya". So, I can conclude that, wake up early morning, can give a sense of good feeling. Feel earlier and advance from otehr people. And then, before I start read mathurat, I start first with istighfar for almost 70times. As I remember the hadis that I read yesterday. It really reminds me. Honestly, I feel it really work! Today, I feel everything goes smoothly. It feel like this world in my hand. World in my hand but not in my heart. After all, I read 2 pages of tafsir and the verses talked about the kiamat and the azab orang yang berpaling, kufur, the people in the hell. All described in Quran. I really feel that by keep reading tafsir, really remind me, no matter what goes on, this world is just very temporary. Even, in Allah's sight, this world is just a day to Him. But to us, it is so long. Ya Allah..perkiraan Allah tu tak terjangkau. Sungguh.
I hope I can be the one that missed Quran. Holding Quran, love Quran and obey to Quran most of the time. What I do is, by make sure, I read one day, one page of tafsir. I will make sure, early in morning I will read once. I know that maybe I am quite weird to people sometimes. People could see me a bit strange as I used to bring Quran everyday to college. That rarely people do. I suppose. Bring Quran almost everywhere. (by holding it). Yeah. AI dont really feel or think anything actually. But there is one day my friend asked me, Do you think that by doing this thing is like what Islam teached. She trying like to asked, adakah dengan bawak Quran sepanjang masa, itu yang Islam ajar.? I don't know what she really means. Maybe she feel..I don't know. perhaps people dont really feel easy that I bring Quran most of the time?? Entah. that question come to my mind. and I start to asked myself why I'm doing this? that people don't ever do it. Is this what Islam teach? is this good? could it be bad? at time, i start to think and find the answer. and that day, I get the answer from someone . that person said to me, kalau niat mungkin dengan cara tu kita rasa dekat dengan Allah, tak salah pun. No need to bother others.
That makes me strong. I will keep doing that I feel its not wrong. Even it will be different from others. It is not, i do it i want to make like an identity. I do it because I just feel I want to do it. And I feel nothing wrong with that. Its only people's perception. And why should I bother? yeah..smae thing like wearning niqah. I could feel the 'spirit' a bit lost for sometime. but right now, i feel like the feeling to wear it, start to call me..I always imagine, what if i wear niqab in the university in canada? what will it be? perhaps, its true it is difficult. but who knows by that way, lies more opportunity for me to talk more about islam?? Of course physically i will be different from other people. I don't know. I still thinking. And I knew it will be hard and challenging. Not just spirit, but also mentally and could also be physically.
I don't why. also, at this time, I'm thinking of marriage. One thing, that could be hard yet challenging. I'm just thinking to do something that challenge myself. It is not i'm saying I want to get married because of it is challenging. Thats not the issue. of course the main thing to consider of intention to married is because of ALLAH and Rasul. Should be that. But what I thinking is, to do sunnah, or perhaps to do something that people not usually do really interest me. I don;t know. Perhaps since long time, i want to be different from others. Since I was 15 years old. The turning point to be 'different' perhaps. By thinking to take 22 subjects in SPM, then reduce to become 14 at last. This 'crazy' thing always in my mind. as it is really challenge. I don't know why I really love challenge. Even things that perhaps people thing its going to be hard. But I guess, I will say,,'hey why not??"
Okla. I know marriage is not a single thing and not just a thing that you can play with it. It is about life. talking about life, i want to taste this life as fullest. and eventually, this week, in iluvislam there was a post talked about nikah muda and bahagia. Ah sudah...sudah terang lagikan bersuluh. konkrit, the reason to get married. haha. biarlah masa menentukan.
I just pray that I can do the right thing ever in my life. How am I today, will not be as today If I do nothing yesterday. My decision to take 14 subject in SPM, has 'changed' my life. I am sure, that in future also, I will considering to take it as 'challenge'. Purdah? Kawin muda? Will cost changes and transition in my life. How could I adapt with people surrounds me. Well, It is not only about purdah or marriage. but that's what in my mind, that I feel the 'most challenge' thing to do.
Even it is not a bad thing, it could be not always a good thing jugak. ...paradox.
Times up. I should stop now. almmost 2 hours start to feel sengal!
That's all for now. I think I talked so much.. Oh yeah, before I end this post, it is also an achievement for me to write in English.
I should reward myself with tasty wafer. Chill ^_^
Wassalam.
5:55PM
Taylor's Library
Wednesday 4 March
8.20PM(updating)
Just suddenly this thought pop up in my mind.
Anamika my dear friend that used to help me a lot in IELST speaking practice, her last advice to me before I went to the IELTS speaking test, she told me,
"Just keep going if you stuck. Carry on!"
And I'm just thinking. That is what if I'm stuck when I was speaking. I am thinking that what if I'm stuck with my life? The same thing should be done. Just KEEP GOING.
YEah. this what I should do. Although I'm stuck, I SHOULD KEEP GOING with this life. Stuck could be something that hold me back. I should carry on and never let those things hold me back from moving foward.
I used to remember what abah used to told me as well in past
"When the going get tough, the TOUGHER GET GOING "
Yes. KEEP GOING!! I am tough. I know now, the situation quite tough for me. To face all these thing, preparation for study abroad really teach me more about life rather than just the foundation of study. I also start to find the foundation of life which need the foundation of iman.
Times up. The library going to shut off...
8:35PM
grrrr
Dear Diary,
Today is a fine day to me. I should express it because it is rarely happen I guess. I want to express how it feel and what I've done until I got this type of feeling.
I don't know how to describe it in English, but in Malay, I could say that I feel so bahagia. Is bahagia is equivalent to happy? I feel satisfied, I feel good and also fine. Yeah, it think probably it make sense.
I wish that I could have this feeling for most of the time. BAHAGIA.
Hati yang tenang, jiwa yang lapang, sungguh berlapang dada. yang aku jarang-jarang rasakan. Ibarat, seluruh dunia 'tunduk' padaku. Bukanlah tunduk bermakna aku berkuasa, tapi, rasa macam ..entahla. Rasa yang aku rasai, aku yakin dan percaya lebih baik dari seluruh isi dunia.
Yes, jiwa yang lapang, hati yang tenang. dan perasaan bahagia yang hadir.
I don't know why. But I feel I'm alive today. I feel I am 'somebody' around my circle. People acknowledge my existence and I trying to acknowledge them that I am exist in this world. By the way, it is not that deep as well, I still don't feel I impact them so much.
Well, actually today I have my IELTS speaking test. In a longer word to say, International Examination Language Test System (IELTS). I've been practiced since past few days. Actually, I tried to be familiar with interview session that one-to-one since 3weeks a go, My first meeting or 'dating' was with Mr.Hanna. I asked him to coach me and evaluate me asa well. I made the preparation for this test and I feel good about it.
By the way, thats not the main reason why I feel this way today. Today, not so much things happen but I start my day with very positive act. This is my experiences. That I hope by expressing it, someday this kind of feeling still remain as I will try to keep this 'moment' and try to keep myself doing what I've done. I believe that experience is the best teacher ever. I believe the policy is absolutely true. Even if it is not your exprience but still if it is an experience it will always be the best thing ever to learn a lesson.
Well, I think I should start about what I got or what I did yesterday. As I believe that today will not be as today if I don't do anything from yesterday. The success of today is because what I did in yesterday. I feel that today is my 'success day'. Why? There are few reasons why I said so. The main thing is, I feel good about myself. It is not the feeling I'm better than others but it is just I feel good in doing good things.
What I did today, yeah I met people. I greet them. I told them(almost every person that I met and I knew including the librarian at the counter) I am going to have my IELTS speaking test today. Almost every person that I knew on road. Today is like a 'big' day. It is just the sense to make the day good and succeed. I smile to most people. I treat them very nice. Smile, talked with civil and most of the time in positive mood. The reason I greet them and told them I'm going to have IELTS speaking test, is because I want their support. I like to hear some kind of inspiration from other people. That wish me luck, wish me all the best. It is like to tell everybody in this world, "Hey..I'm going to have my IELTS speaking!!". and it feel great when you have moral support from people that you know. Of course it is hard to get support eventually from people that you never know before.
Especially when it comes from person that you loved, loved the most, love a little as olong you still feel kinda have the love for the person, yeah. It is different. Compared to person that you know. By the way, i;m not going to compared them, as I love them so much. Once I get some kind of moral support, I start to feel good. People give me some tips, and advice. I took it as a guide.
Here, I feel that nothing can replace the good relationship among ourselve and the people around us. Seriously, I feel that having good relationship and don't ever hurt people is very important. As you can't survive in this world alone. When I start to walk out from library, after watched few videos, I found Maryam. That 'seakhowat' with me. I just feel like I want to salam someone at that time and have a little hug. Actually not hug but kinda common thing that we used to do after pray or even when we met. But i could feel she feel quite weird to do that in public. Ahha. it's okay. I don't know. At that time I feel support from the sense of touch. And then I met Husna on the way to IDP ( the exam's take place). This time, she is more natural to give me like little hug and kiss. not really kiss actually. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it in word even in Malay. After talk a few moment, and so much advice and wished I got from her, as she said, she always pray for me, and I'll be fine. That's enough to me.
When I walk away, I talked to myself. "Hey Qurratul. See you got so much people behind you. Wish you and support you. Of course you can do it. I knew I can! Show to them my ability. I can do this!"
At this time, my self-image is super positive. I love myself. One important thing in life also it to feel love for yourself. I feel that important. I don't know how toerrible is life, when people start to hate themselve so much. I feel good to feel love myself. That's a good feeling though. That's why I said, today I feel succeed for some extent.
Oh yeah, I'm not going to story from A-Z what she asked me in the test session I'm just going to express how it feel once you feel good and what makes I feel good. Before I go further and keep talk about it, after I finish my test, and walk out from the exam's place, I feel like I want to tell everyone in this world .."Hey I'm done!!". Yeah. The same thing went on, I keep talking about my experience to people that I know and also I don't really know but explain to him the experience that I've been through and my advice. Him? Yeah. Him. I just know someone in that class that going to have IELTS sooner, My feeling is like, okay I really want to tell him something about my experience. Actually, I'm thinking twice before I talked to him. In my mind, "Oh,,he is a guy..should I talked to him? I don't ever know him before!". Of course I feel shy, to talk to guy, especially the one that I never knew or never talked before, but as I think, I really want to tell my expreience, then I just carry on.
That also makes me feel good. I feel good to doing good to people. THat I hope I can benefit them I suppose. Even a barrier between the relationsip between man and woman. I believe that, it shouldnt be a barrier if you are really sincere and know what you want. and the main thing, not exceed the limit.
Yeah. Most people that know me, knew that I had IELTS speaking test. And mostly they asked me, how was it? I reply most the same thing to people. " Yeah..the question ot so bad..she asked me about swimming, hometown, stages of life that I enjoyed the most, the adults and responsibilities..." before I met people, I messaged mama first. Express how I feel. To me expression is so important. I can't just stand with the feeling without express it to anyone. I guess that's nature. I can't keep inside. I really want somone that I could express what I feel, and what I've go through. And I message 5 peoples. with same message.
" Salam. I've done my IELTS speaking test. The question not so bad. I got .(...bla2...). Right now, need to focus on listening, reading and writing test that will be on this saturday. Do pray for my success."
Well, this is what I did before having the test, I try to tell most people that I know especially person like my parents. I hope for their pray. RESTU. Really important and once u got it, u will feel very good. Even, if you not really capable, at least you feel able to go through the circumstance that you might face. Just hear, that mama and abah, alway doas for me, it just enough to me. I have someone that I could rely on for now.
And, mama replied to me, well done. Oh yeah. the 5 people that I message were mama, husna, cikgu jalini, abah, and laili. laili one of my close friend. cikgu jalini because fortunately, she message me yesterday (since long time never sms her). yeah. I think it is important to to acknowledge guru. Because, they are just like our parents. And their doa is so much powerful. Once I got some kind if inpiration from them, i feel good. I'm not looking down at myself. I feel I am 'somebody' because I got some 'recognition' from someone that I knew.
Hmm..I'm start to crapping lot. Now it's alreaday 40 minutes already. Wow. Time moves so fast!
By the way, this is my story. Oh yeah. One of the best thing that happen today, is not entirely about IELTS but today, fortunately I've did something that impressed other people. It feel good when someone said, "I am impressed". I know, it is not so good to feel so good about yourself but I think I need space for myself. To have some kind of pleasure is imporant so that I gain my own confidence.
Yeah. today I transfer my english class from period 2 to period 4. They did discussion about the caricatures and one interesting thing was, Mr. Ben brought like a crumple of newspaper that looks like a toy and he wants the one that got the 'thing' have to lead the class for discussion. Facilitate them to be in discussion. Actually, I don't why after I done my IELTS, and when I step to the class, I still feel the 'dub dab dub dab' feeling. I don't know what makes me nervous. even IELTS Speaking test had over! Perhaps the excited feeling that I felt? It could be. I feel so excited! Well, I feel that at time, no wonder I feel that feeling, because after the moment, I got the 'thing' and I am needed to conduct the class. " Oh man..is this for real? to replace Mr. Ben's job? although for a minute..It really need a confidence to do that"
Well, actually when he explained about the procedure, that the facilitator are not going to teach but just to make sure the discussion keep on and also facilitate the clasas to understand and bring up to the story. Put some insight and gain some ideas and inspiration. Thats what he/she's job. When I heard about that, My feeling at that time, kinda nervous. I feel " hey..I want to try.." I thought like, it's going to be voluteer. I am ready to raise my hand. But it is not. As I mentioned, the one that have the 'thing' are going to conduct the class discussion. But at the end, I never expect I get the 'chance' as I wish. That thing really on my desk. Somone just throw and it is on my desk directly. As I thought before, "yeah.the thing will not going to me, coz I'm new in class. nobody will give it to me. coz they don't really know me. " but at the end, it comes just like I wish but I never expect it for the very first place. I'm a bit surprise at first. I can't believe it. I respond like .." Are you now, me? right now? conduct the class? " and mr. ben said yeah..before that she said, you are a scholar..n something..i can't really catch his word. and at that time I still feel hesitate to go in front and take charge because I feel that the one that conduct the discussion at that time was very good. but when it comes to my turn, I don't believe it I need to conduct the class until everyone in class looking at me, and wait, then I believe. Yeah. I need to conduct the discussion although at first I wish to but when the times come and you don't expect it to be as you wish..I just happen.
I try my best to do what I could do with the class. I just stared with " Okay..lets move one our discussion.."and ask few things to the class.. As today, I wear formal attire, I could feel good and confident. There is a friend that I know keep smiling at me that I take it as a 'support' I knew by her smile means ''Go, Ain.."..A cheerful smile. I smile back and her and try what I could do. I just act normal and naturally. Although At first a bit shaky. How should I start. What should I say? that's came up in my mind. But at last, I did it gracefully. and the discussion move smoothly not as what I expect. I never expect to 'perform' on that day. I manage to get people talk, gaining ideas from different people, asking few questions and asking about their opinion whether they agree or disagree. (of course most of them agree but then I start to ask question that more about guessing and based on free-opinion).
For example , "Do you think that the Mr.Gardiner's social status can change? how? .." then after hear few opinions from my fellow classmates, I make assumption by saying to the whole class, "to change or upgrade status means to married with people that has higher social status in the society. Do you agree? " and then a guy, raise his hand and said, no. Not necessary. he expressed his opinion about work and effort.
Yeah. after that, I just endup the discussion by just smiling and err err to MR.Ben. Mr. Ben just take charge the class after all. He start to conclude the 'peformance' of the class. He said, "it is really amazing to see the leadership in some of us" At first, start with (someone that I forgot his name) and then, goes to Sarah. That I know Sarah can lead the discussion but she don't really want to talk more to people. and I knew at the very first place, Jeff want to take the 'thing'. He wants to lead so much. And it is suprising, after the 'thing' went to other group just after 10 minutes it goes back to Jeff. It is like Jeff talking to the 'thing' "I really want it."" because he really loves to lead. But at the very first, I really don't want to give it to Jeff, I want find someone other than him because he really want it. Next, we see, Ain take place the show. and she did a very good job. Make people discussed, asking discussion question and try to balance up. make people understand. and that's very good. .."
I want him to talk more. but seems like the time is very limited. and I actually wait the time to go and tell my expreience to the guy that I know going to have IELTS. however, before it, Mr. Ben come to talked to me after class, but still in class, he said, " you are really good in leadership. I feel impressed. You asked people, get people to talk, you feel very comfortable don't you?" And I was like..err..yeah..perhaps.." and you seems like you are very ready to go and take charge the class.." I just keep quiet and just keep smiling. In my heart,like...hoho.. did you know that..haha..althoug I wish it, but I never expect it to be soo good. and he said once again, he so impressed of me. and I smile and just glad and said alhamdulillah in my heart. after that, I thank him for the class.
By the way, there is a feeling at time, " hey..Q..show your ability to people that you can speak english very well!" . Thats the spirit from IELTS speaking test. and I feel that it still keep inside and remain in myself until I take charge the class discusiion. That's why there still have the 'passion'
yeah. thats it. that's my story today. I knew, this post is longer as I've been writing almost for an hour without stop. But I feel it is an 'inner' achievement that I felt today. Feeling good, confidence, brave and nice. Be nice to everybody. Always. Another achievement that I felt, is I'm not manage to overcome my hesitation to ask for clarification. For example, it begins with the IELTS speaking test, I asked question for clarification and the exminer respond with examples. Even she had clarify it, I asked pulak for repeatin g question. I think and I feel it is achievement for me. Because, I used to be afraid to ASK before. So, I feel it is an achievement. I also, managed to overcome my sleepiness in my data class. I feel good, when my teacher respond to me. Have attention. I start asking question that I don't really understand what she' talking. Not in data class, but also in law class. There is a word that Mr.Hanna said..that I don't know that word. And I asked what does it mean by Taboo. what's that. And i got the feedback. Not only from Mr. Hanna but also from other people in the class. My classmate, one of it, try to explain to me in malay, but of course people around not understand, including mr. Hanna, but after a while he try to explain in english, and I respond by trying to express whether is it right what I understood so far with their explaination.
Yeah. Asking for clarification, really makes me feel good.
By all means, as I mentioned earlier, today will not be as today, I do nothing yesterday. I think, yesterday really affect my day today. For example, if i'm not mistaken, yesterday I read something about istighfar in LAN class and I apply it this morning. I think it really works. Based on what I read, istighfar itu menghilangkan kedukaan, kalau ada masalah, hati rungsing, akan jadi lapang, di sebalik mohon diampun dosa, mohon rahmat Allah, and banyak la fadhilat dari banyak istighfar. At the moment, I just realize, wow..this is amazing. Terlepas pandang about kelebihan the importance of istighfar. rasa mcm nk post kat iluv je. really menyedarkan. and then, I went back to Casa, having little chit chat with my housemates(rarely i have so much chit chat with them . thats quite bad. ), a bit 'gossip' and I read quite much actually. I cook rice and eat with daging(bcoz I really need iron due to the blood that i 'missed'), with sayur and also tauhu telur. I'm so full. and after that doing some practices speaking with Natalie. She willing to do favor by asking me question using the module. after a while, I 'flat' already. I unable to do anything, I just jumpt straight away into my bed, and not wake up. I don't know. At that moment, I feel my body a bit heavy at the bottom. Maybe because I eat carb and heavily. Before that, I take soya with gula merah.
This morning, I wake up a bit early from other day, Allah wakes me up. around 4.45. The first thing that I did, I remember in my dream to write things that I should consider when speaking. 1) avoid mmm...
That's the first thing in my mind. After finish listing things to consider and aware of, I recite doa that I used to read every morning. Yeah, most probably the reason I feel so good today, because I begin with good. I believe with what abah used to say to me always. "Cemerlang awal, akan cemerlang akhirnya". So, I can conclude that, wake up early morning, can give a sense of good feeling. Feel earlier and advance from otehr people. And then, before I start read mathurat, I start first with istighfar for almost 70times. As I remember the hadis that I read yesterday. It really reminds me. Honestly, I feel it really work! Today, I feel everything goes smoothly. It feel like this world in my hand. World in my hand but not in my heart. After all, I read 2 pages of tafsir and the verses talked about the kiamat and the azab orang yang berpaling, kufur, the people in the hell. All described in Quran. I really feel that by keep reading tafsir, really remind me, no matter what goes on, this world is just very temporary. Even, in Allah's sight, this world is just a day to Him. But to us, it is so long. Ya Allah..perkiraan Allah tu tak terjangkau. Sungguh.
I hope I can be the one that missed Quran. Holding Quran, love Quran and obey to Quran most of the time. What I do is, by make sure, I read one day, one page of tafsir. I will make sure, early in morning I will read once. I know that maybe I am quite weird to people sometimes. People could see me a bit strange as I used to bring Quran everyday to college. That rarely people do. I suppose. Bring Quran almost everywhere. (by holding it). Yeah. AI dont really feel or think anything actually. But there is one day my friend asked me, Do you think that by doing this thing is like what Islam teached. She trying like to asked, adakah dengan bawak Quran sepanjang masa, itu yang Islam ajar.? I don't know what she really means. Maybe she feel..I don't know. perhaps people dont really feel easy that I bring Quran most of the time?? Entah. that question come to my mind. and I start to asked myself why I'm doing this? that people don't ever do it. Is this what Islam teach? is this good? could it be bad? at time, i start to think and find the answer. and that day, I get the answer from someone . that person said to me, kalau niat mungkin dengan cara tu kita rasa dekat dengan Allah, tak salah pun. No need to bother others.
That makes me strong. I will keep doing that I feel its not wrong. Even it will be different from others. It is not, i do it i want to make like an identity. I do it because I just feel I want to do it. And I feel nothing wrong with that. Its only people's perception. And why should I bother? yeah..smae thing like wearning niqah. I could feel the 'spirit' a bit lost for sometime. but right now, i feel like the feeling to wear it, start to call me..I always imagine, what if i wear niqab in the university in canada? what will it be? perhaps, its true it is difficult. but who knows by that way, lies more opportunity for me to talk more about islam?? Of course physically i will be different from other people. I don't know. I still thinking. And I knew it will be hard and challenging. Not just spirit, but also mentally and could also be physically.
I don't why. also, at this time, I'm thinking of marriage. One thing, that could be hard yet challenging. I'm just thinking to do something that challenge myself. It is not i'm saying I want to get married because of it is challenging. Thats not the issue. of course the main thing to consider of intention to married is because of ALLAH and Rasul. Should be that. But what I thinking is, to do sunnah, or perhaps to do something that people not usually do really interest me. I don;t know. Perhaps since long time, i want to be different from others. Since I was 15 years old. The turning point to be 'different' perhaps. By thinking to take 22 subjects in SPM, then reduce to become 14 at last. This 'crazy' thing always in my mind. as it is really challenge. I don't know why I really love challenge. Even things that perhaps people thing its going to be hard. But I guess, I will say,,'hey why not??"
Okla. I know marriage is not a single thing and not just a thing that you can play with it. It is about life. talking about life, i want to taste this life as fullest. and eventually, this week, in iluvislam there was a post talked about nikah muda and bahagia. Ah sudah...sudah terang lagikan bersuluh. konkrit, the reason to get married. haha. biarlah masa menentukan.
I just pray that I can do the right thing ever in my life. How am I today, will not be as today If I do nothing yesterday. My decision to take 14 subject in SPM, has 'changed' my life. I am sure, that in future also, I will considering to take it as 'challenge'. Purdah? Kawin muda? Will cost changes and transition in my life. How could I adapt with people surrounds me. Well, It is not only about purdah or marriage. but that's what in my mind, that I feel the 'most challenge' thing to do.
Even it is not a bad thing, it could be not always a good thing jugak. ...paradox.
Times up. I should stop now. almmost 2 hours start to feel sengal!
That's all for now. I think I talked so much.. Oh yeah, before I end this post, it is also an achievement for me to write in English.
I should reward myself with tasty wafer. Chill ^_^
Wassalam.
5:55PM
Taylor's Library
Wednesday 4 March
8.20PM(updating)
Just suddenly this thought pop up in my mind.
Anamika my dear friend that used to help me a lot in IELST speaking practice, her last advice to me before I went to the IELTS speaking test, she told me,
"Just keep going if you stuck. Carry on!"
And I'm just thinking. That is what if I'm stuck when I was speaking. I am thinking that what if I'm stuck with my life? The same thing should be done. Just KEEP GOING.
YEah. this what I should do. Although I'm stuck, I SHOULD KEEP GOING with this life. Stuck could be something that hold me back. I should carry on and never let those things hold me back from moving foward.
I used to remember what abah used to told me as well in past
"When the going get tough, the TOUGHER GET GOING "
Yes. KEEP GOING!! I am tough. I know now, the situation quite tough for me. To face all these thing, preparation for study abroad really teach me more about life rather than just the foundation of study. I also start to find the foundation of life which need the foundation of iman.
Times up. The library going to shut off...
8:35PM
grrrr
Ahad, Mac 1
Definisi Cinta itu Dinamik
bila kita berbicara soal cinta, skopnya luas dan dinamik.
melalui kata2 saja, seseorang boleh jatuh hati.
namun apakah cinta itu bersalah? sedangkan cinta itu terlalu suci. namun sering kesucian cinta ternoda dengan titik-titik hitam jahiliyah. cinta yang berpandu dan berunsur nafsu semata.
asas cinta itu patut membuat kita tenteram dan tenang. cinta sumber ketenangan dan kebahagian.
entah kenapa ya aku mula memikirkan untuk berbicara soal cinta. cinta mempunyai kuasa luar biasa. membuat diri lebih bertenaga. malah cinta menyalurkan tenaga yang cukup luar biasa.
ada sesuatu y menarik perhatian ketika berchatting dgn seorang hamba Allah semalam. cinta pada orang berilmu. tak perlu kan sebab. rasa tenang dan seronok tengok dia. rasa sayang sangat sampai rasa nak nangis. sayangnya tak terkata. kalaulah dapat rasa mcm tu setiap kali balik dari kerja jumpa pasangan.. masyaAllah tak tau nak kata apa dah..
smpai begitu sekali ye.
i'm thinking. based on a few articles that i read today about cinta - nikah - n so on..and this week i could feel more to like a lovely feeling. teringat pada seorang akhowat.walau pertama kali jumpa, dah terbit rasa sayang. rindu nak jumpa lagi. rasa tenteram bila bersamanya.
the theory is is simple i think. bukankan dalam Quran ada kata,
dengan mengingati Allah, hati itu akan menjadi tenteram
based on that, bila kita dekat dengan orang yang mengingatkan kita pada Allah, nescaya kita pun secara tak langsung berasa tenteram dan tenang bila bersama dia. sebab tu timbul rasa sayang. we feel secured, protected. even not physically.
same as manusia. cinta yang berasaskan cinta Ilahi itulah sumber ketenangan abadi.
some quote from somewhere i read;
"Kenapa kita menyintai seseorang (berlawanan jenis)? Syukur Alhamdulillah jika kita menyintai seseorang itu kerana Allah, ini cinta yang suci dan agung. Cinta semata-mata kerana inginkan keredhaan dariNya. Cinta kerana ingin mendekatkan diri kepadaNya. Cinta kepada dia kerana yakin dia boleh membangkitkan semangat kita untuk berjuang mendapatkan keredhaan dari Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang mendorong rasa rindu kepada Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang mampu menjamin kenikmatan dan kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang sanggup bersusah payah, suka dan duka bersama kita berjihad menuju jalan Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dialah insan yang berkemampuan untuk menyambung zuriat kita, melahirkan anak2 yang soleh dan solehah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia juga mencintai Allah.
Alhamdulillah..Jika kita di kurniakan cinta yang sebegini, maka rugilah kita jika kita menolak cinta ini.
Tapi..sebanyak mana orang yang mampu menyintai kita kerana sebab2 itu semata-mata? cinta itu tidak salah. Puji-pujian kepada Allah, syukur hanya kepada Dia jika kita di anugerahkan rasa cinta dan dicintai seindah ini. Alhamdulillah. Bagaimana kalau dia cintakan kita kerana sebab-sebab berikut? Dia mungkin cintakan kita kerana kita ni cantik, tubuh kita ramping dan menggoda, dia mungkin cintakan kita kerana pertuturan kita yang lemah lembut, kerana suara kita yang merdu. Dia mungkin mencintai kita kerana mata kita yang indah, bak kata pepatah, dari mata turun ke hati. Dia mencintai kita mungkin kerana kelincahan kita, kerana kecekapan kita. Dia mungkin mencintai kita kerana kebijaksanaan kita berdebat meluah pendapat. Dia menyintai kita mungkin kerana wang kita dan harta kita, atau kerana karier kita yang membanggakan atau macam2 lagi sebab.
Tapi, bagaimana kalau tiba2 Tuhan takdirkan kita bisu..adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana kemerduan dan kepetahan kita akan masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau Tuhan takdirkan kita buta..adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana tajamnya panahan mata kita akan masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau Tuhan takdirkan kaki kita kudung, lumpuh tidak mampu bergerak, adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana kelincahan kita akan tetap menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau tiba2 muka kita cacat, tidak lagi secantik dulu..atau berkedut sana sini, adakah dia masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana pula kalau kiranya kita di takdirkan tidak dapat melahirkan anak? Adakah dia yang mencintai kita kerana kita melahirkan zuriat untuknya akan terus menyintai kita? Mungkin juga tidak…kerana cinta kpd sesuatu yg ada pada kita, bermakna cintakan suatu yang tidak kekal, yang bermaksud, boleh di rampas olehNya yg berhak bila2 masa sahaja. Semua itu hanyalah pinjaman. Dan cinta itu sendiri juga suatu pinjaman. Suatu nikmat yang boleh di tarik bila-bila masa sahaja."
tapi cinta itu sebenarnya tak perlu bersebab. setuju?
cukuplah cinta itu dapat memberi sebuah kebahagiaan.
tidak semestinya dengan orang yang banyak ilmu agama baru tumbuh rasa cinta. cukup sekadar hanya melihat/ bersama dia kita berasa tenang dan tenteram. kerana hati itu hanya akan tenteram bila mengingatiNya.
pokok pangkal cinta itu akan menuju Tuhan yang menciptakan rasa cinta itu jua. di situlah cinta hakiki.
InsyaAllah, aku tidak akan sekali2 menerima cinta kerana suatu yang tidak pasti. Aku pasti akan menyintai, dan dicintai..tapi Tuhan, jika Kau takdirkan aku jatuh cinta, Kau jatuhkanlah cintaku ini kepada dia yang mencintaiku kerana Mu.
Wallahu'alam.
11.52PM
Sunday night.
melalui kata2 saja, seseorang boleh jatuh hati.
namun apakah cinta itu bersalah? sedangkan cinta itu terlalu suci. namun sering kesucian cinta ternoda dengan titik-titik hitam jahiliyah. cinta yang berpandu dan berunsur nafsu semata.
asas cinta itu patut membuat kita tenteram dan tenang. cinta sumber ketenangan dan kebahagian.
entah kenapa ya aku mula memikirkan untuk berbicara soal cinta. cinta mempunyai kuasa luar biasa. membuat diri lebih bertenaga. malah cinta menyalurkan tenaga yang cukup luar biasa.
ada sesuatu y menarik perhatian ketika berchatting dgn seorang hamba Allah semalam. cinta pada orang berilmu. tak perlu kan sebab. rasa tenang dan seronok tengok dia. rasa sayang sangat sampai rasa nak nangis. sayangnya tak terkata. kalaulah dapat rasa mcm tu setiap kali balik dari kerja jumpa pasangan.. masyaAllah tak tau nak kata apa dah..
smpai begitu sekali ye.
i'm thinking. based on a few articles that i read today about cinta - nikah - n so on..and this week i could feel more to like a lovely feeling. teringat pada seorang akhowat.walau pertama kali jumpa, dah terbit rasa sayang. rindu nak jumpa lagi. rasa tenteram bila bersamanya.
the theory is is simple i think. bukankan dalam Quran ada kata,
dengan mengingati Allah, hati itu akan menjadi tenteram
based on that, bila kita dekat dengan orang yang mengingatkan kita pada Allah, nescaya kita pun secara tak langsung berasa tenteram dan tenang bila bersama dia. sebab tu timbul rasa sayang. we feel secured, protected. even not physically.
same as manusia. cinta yang berasaskan cinta Ilahi itulah sumber ketenangan abadi.
some quote from somewhere i read;
"Kenapa kita menyintai seseorang (berlawanan jenis)? Syukur Alhamdulillah jika kita menyintai seseorang itu kerana Allah, ini cinta yang suci dan agung. Cinta semata-mata kerana inginkan keredhaan dariNya. Cinta kerana ingin mendekatkan diri kepadaNya. Cinta kepada dia kerana yakin dia boleh membangkitkan semangat kita untuk berjuang mendapatkan keredhaan dari Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang mendorong rasa rindu kepada Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang mampu menjamin kenikmatan dan kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia yang sanggup bersusah payah, suka dan duka bersama kita berjihad menuju jalan Allah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dialah insan yang berkemampuan untuk menyambung zuriat kita, melahirkan anak2 yang soleh dan solehah. Cinta kepada dia kerana dia juga mencintai Allah.
Alhamdulillah..Jika kita di kurniakan cinta yang sebegini, maka rugilah kita jika kita menolak cinta ini.
Tapi..sebanyak mana orang yang mampu menyintai kita kerana sebab2 itu semata-mata? cinta itu tidak salah. Puji-pujian kepada Allah, syukur hanya kepada Dia jika kita di anugerahkan rasa cinta dan dicintai seindah ini. Alhamdulillah. Bagaimana kalau dia cintakan kita kerana sebab-sebab berikut? Dia mungkin cintakan kita kerana kita ni cantik, tubuh kita ramping dan menggoda, dia mungkin cintakan kita kerana pertuturan kita yang lemah lembut, kerana suara kita yang merdu. Dia mungkin mencintai kita kerana mata kita yang indah, bak kata pepatah, dari mata turun ke hati. Dia mencintai kita mungkin kerana kelincahan kita, kerana kecekapan kita. Dia mungkin mencintai kita kerana kebijaksanaan kita berdebat meluah pendapat. Dia menyintai kita mungkin kerana wang kita dan harta kita, atau kerana karier kita yang membanggakan atau macam2 lagi sebab.
Tapi, bagaimana kalau tiba2 Tuhan takdirkan kita bisu..adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana kemerduan dan kepetahan kita akan masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau Tuhan takdirkan kita buta..adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana tajamnya panahan mata kita akan masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau Tuhan takdirkan kaki kita kudung, lumpuh tidak mampu bergerak, adakah dia yang menyintai kita kerana kelincahan kita akan tetap menyintai kita? Bagaimana kalau tiba2 muka kita cacat, tidak lagi secantik dulu..atau berkedut sana sini, adakah dia masih menyintai kita? Bagaimana pula kalau kiranya kita di takdirkan tidak dapat melahirkan anak? Adakah dia yang mencintai kita kerana kita melahirkan zuriat untuknya akan terus menyintai kita? Mungkin juga tidak…kerana cinta kpd sesuatu yg ada pada kita, bermakna cintakan suatu yang tidak kekal, yang bermaksud, boleh di rampas olehNya yg berhak bila2 masa sahaja. Semua itu hanyalah pinjaman. Dan cinta itu sendiri juga suatu pinjaman. Suatu nikmat yang boleh di tarik bila-bila masa sahaja."
tapi cinta itu sebenarnya tak perlu bersebab. setuju?
cukuplah cinta itu dapat memberi sebuah kebahagiaan.
tidak semestinya dengan orang yang banyak ilmu agama baru tumbuh rasa cinta. cukup sekadar hanya melihat/ bersama dia kita berasa tenang dan tenteram. kerana hati itu hanya akan tenteram bila mengingatiNya.
pokok pangkal cinta itu akan menuju Tuhan yang menciptakan rasa cinta itu jua. di situlah cinta hakiki.
InsyaAllah, aku tidak akan sekali2 menerima cinta kerana suatu yang tidak pasti. Aku pasti akan menyintai, dan dicintai..tapi Tuhan, jika Kau takdirkan aku jatuh cinta, Kau jatuhkanlah cintaku ini kepada dia yang mencintaiku kerana Mu.
Wallahu'alam.
11.52PM
Sunday night.
Jumaat, Februari 27
Usrah Ringkas namun berbekas di hati
tadi ada usrah. ringkas. dgn kak auni.
pengisian : point that i got,
-Allah tak nilai hasil tapi USAHA. kalau Allah memang dah tetapkan kita fail, mmg kita fail. dah tetap dari azali. tapi bukan hasil tu yg Allah tengok. Allah tengok banyak mana usaha kita.
yup2. thats right. aku ni, kadang2 selalu fikirkan hasil. contoh, tegur org or amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar, aku lebih fikirkan 'keberkesanan' sebelum mencuba atau berusaha/ berikhtiar.
next, about matlamat hidup.
kalau matlamat hidup manusia tu tak jelas, tak ada makna dia buat sesuatu. sebab bila tak ada matlamat, sia2. takde hala tuju.
ringkasnya, seluruh hidup kita patut serah pada Allah.
another interesting one, about makanan.
makanan otak kita- ilmumakanan badan - makanan y bagi tenagamakanan jiwa -?
dah cukup ke kita bagi makan dengan seimbang?adakah kita nak kepala kita je besar? badang, tangan besar? ataupun hati je besar tapi kepala kosong? Renung2kan.
hidupku lebih beerti di jalan ini. Ya Allah terima kasih. Terlalu banyak nikmat yang kau beri. tak terkira. Sudahkah aku menjadi hamba Mu yang bersyukur?
Ya Allah, apa jua yang mendatang dalam hidupku, biarlah ia membawa aku mendapat petunjuk dan semakin dekat dengan-Mu.
tiada yang lebih didamba melainkan sebuah hidup yang penuh pengertian dan tiada yang lebih didamba melainkan sebuah kebahagiaan.
dan kebahagian abadi itu hanya DIA.
11.01PM , Casa Subang.
pengisian : point that i got,
-Allah tak nilai hasil tapi USAHA. kalau Allah memang dah tetapkan kita fail, mmg kita fail. dah tetap dari azali. tapi bukan hasil tu yg Allah tengok. Allah tengok banyak mana usaha kita.
yup2. thats right. aku ni, kadang2 selalu fikirkan hasil. contoh, tegur org or amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar, aku lebih fikirkan 'keberkesanan' sebelum mencuba atau berusaha/ berikhtiar.
next, about matlamat hidup.
kalau matlamat hidup manusia tu tak jelas, tak ada makna dia buat sesuatu. sebab bila tak ada matlamat, sia2. takde hala tuju.
ringkasnya, seluruh hidup kita patut serah pada Allah.
another interesting one, about makanan.
makanan otak kita- ilmumakanan badan - makanan y bagi tenagamakanan jiwa -?
dah cukup ke kita bagi makan dengan seimbang?adakah kita nak kepala kita je besar? badang, tangan besar? ataupun hati je besar tapi kepala kosong? Renung2kan.
hidupku lebih beerti di jalan ini. Ya Allah terima kasih. Terlalu banyak nikmat yang kau beri. tak terkira. Sudahkah aku menjadi hamba Mu yang bersyukur?
Ya Allah, apa jua yang mendatang dalam hidupku, biarlah ia membawa aku mendapat petunjuk dan semakin dekat dengan-Mu.
tiada yang lebih didamba melainkan sebuah hidup yang penuh pengertian dan tiada yang lebih didamba melainkan sebuah kebahagiaan.
dan kebahagian abadi itu hanya DIA.
11.01PM , Casa Subang.
Khamis, Februari 26
Konvensyen Patriotisme Remaja PICC 2009
Bismillah.
Just feel to express what I feel today. So long not blogging. No specific reason to blog.
Today I went to convention teen patriotism in Putrajaya. hmm..rasa kekok guna english. T_T tapi next week da IELTS. adeihh..
having 3 talk. i am impressed with the first talk by dato' paduka mazlina talking bout M.A.R.U.A.H. i'm not goin to further more about the talk. here i'm only want to express what i feel and what i think. all it comes from my little heart.
i'm just thinking, after the convention, a tonne of questions being asked in the questions. almost 40 questions at one time for almost every open-sessions.
today i can see...aku melihat manusia or masyarakat tempatan dengan lebih terbuka, melihat riak2, ragam2 masyarakat. entahla mula2 tertanya, kenapa nak pergi program ni? that is the first question i asked myself. kenapa aku nak pergi program ni? padahal program ni bkn program islamik, or tarbiyah atau program mcm biasa2 yg aku pergi..yeah..tapi kenapa?kenapa nak pergi? i',m not double standard.
i tell myself, i need to take or grab any opportunity in front me. terdetik dalam hati aku, mesti aku dapat belajar sesuatu dari program ni. dan terdetik di hati aku, aku kena pergi program ni. but terlintas dalam fikiran jugak, nanti tinggalkan kelas, aku jenis memang tak suka tinggal kelas except terdesak(kena siapkan assignment y last minit esp) so thats one thing in my mind. but i stick to a decision, go. My heart said, Qurratul, go. sbb peluang datang sekali. mungkin aku boleh belajar something y xde dalam kelas dr program tu.
yup. thats true. although i cant say what i learn precisely. but this program make me see the 'reality' at least. the 'real world' a bit. yang datang tu, aku difahamkan antara 'pemimpin2 pelajar'. banyak agensi2 kerajaan mcm cikgu2, guru besar, sekolah2 sekitar , institusi2 pengajian ..kerajaan , swasta, dan bila tiba sesi soalan, berderet orang nak tanya soalan. Mengkagumkan jugakla bagi aku. yang datang tu memang hebat2. aku 'terjebak' dalam kalangan orang yang hebat2. kalau bercakap, mmg sah2 tau dia ni debater. cara bercakap, nada suara je pun da tau. yg jenis cakap tak boleh berhenti.
dan pada hemat aku, most of people want changes. and what I got and learn today, is something that I don't get from class.
persoalan2 yg terbenak di fikiran,
how good it could be if we can have ONE GOD, ONE RULE, ONE NATION, ONE WORLD.
no such thing as RACE, no such thing as STATUS, no such things. the only thing is the similiarities between us. we are all human.
Masalah kat malaysia yang aku nampak, isu perkauman, tak dapat elak. inequality.
however EQUAL is hard to justify. EQUAL is subjective. In my opinion, today how I can see bercelarunya, manusia bilamana dia letak agama tu sebagai ritual, bukan pegangan atau prinsip hidup. bukan panduan hidup. agama itu agama. bercelaru manusia. sungguh!
thats what happen when people not follow the religion that have been set by God anymore.
This is what I felt today. How important to adhere with a religion that is a true religion that could lead to righteous and goodness.
hmm..ada usrah. need to be continue..
Casa Subang,
0745. Rumah Akhowat (at-toriq) 09-12
Just feel to express what I feel today. So long not blogging. No specific reason to blog.
Today I went to convention teen patriotism in Putrajaya. hmm..rasa kekok guna english. T_T tapi next week da IELTS. adeihh..
having 3 talk. i am impressed with the first talk by dato' paduka mazlina talking bout M.A.R.U.A.H. i'm not goin to further more about the talk. here i'm only want to express what i feel and what i think. all it comes from my little heart.
i'm just thinking, after the convention, a tonne of questions being asked in the questions. almost 40 questions at one time for almost every open-sessions.
today i can see...aku melihat manusia or masyarakat tempatan dengan lebih terbuka, melihat riak2, ragam2 masyarakat. entahla mula2 tertanya, kenapa nak pergi program ni? that is the first question i asked myself. kenapa aku nak pergi program ni? padahal program ni bkn program islamik, or tarbiyah atau program mcm biasa2 yg aku pergi..yeah..tapi kenapa?kenapa nak pergi? i',m not double standard.
i tell myself, i need to take or grab any opportunity in front me. terdetik dalam hati aku, mesti aku dapat belajar sesuatu dari program ni. dan terdetik di hati aku, aku kena pergi program ni. but terlintas dalam fikiran jugak, nanti tinggalkan kelas, aku jenis memang tak suka tinggal kelas except terdesak(kena siapkan assignment y last minit esp) so thats one thing in my mind. but i stick to a decision, go. My heart said, Qurratul, go. sbb peluang datang sekali. mungkin aku boleh belajar something y xde dalam kelas dr program tu.
yup. thats true. although i cant say what i learn precisely. but this program make me see the 'reality' at least. the 'real world' a bit. yang datang tu, aku difahamkan antara 'pemimpin2 pelajar'. banyak agensi2 kerajaan mcm cikgu2, guru besar, sekolah2 sekitar , institusi2 pengajian ..kerajaan , swasta, dan bila tiba sesi soalan, berderet orang nak tanya soalan. Mengkagumkan jugakla bagi aku. yang datang tu memang hebat2. aku 'terjebak' dalam kalangan orang yang hebat2. kalau bercakap, mmg sah2 tau dia ni debater. cara bercakap, nada suara je pun da tau. yg jenis cakap tak boleh berhenti.
dan pada hemat aku, most of people want changes. and what I got and learn today, is something that I don't get from class.
persoalan2 yg terbenak di fikiran,
how good it could be if we can have ONE GOD, ONE RULE, ONE NATION, ONE WORLD.
no such thing as RACE, no such thing as STATUS, no such things. the only thing is the similiarities between us. we are all human.
Masalah kat malaysia yang aku nampak, isu perkauman, tak dapat elak. inequality.
however EQUAL is hard to justify. EQUAL is subjective. In my opinion, today how I can see bercelarunya, manusia bilamana dia letak agama tu sebagai ritual, bukan pegangan atau prinsip hidup. bukan panduan hidup. agama itu agama. bercelaru manusia. sungguh!
thats what happen when people not follow the religion that have been set by God anymore.
This is what I felt today. How important to adhere with a religion that is a true religion that could lead to righteous and goodness.
hmm..ada usrah. need to be continue..
Casa Subang,
0745. Rumah Akhowat (at-toriq) 09-12
Khamis, Januari 29
Pesan Dari Seberang
A good post to read > http://leokid.com/2009/01/25/pesan-dari-seberang/
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love one of the thoughts
Mampukah kita?
Isu Palestin semakin suam-suam kuku, seiring dengan termeterainya gencatan senjata yang dipersetujui Israel-Hamas. Alhamdulillah, negara haram Israel gagal mendapatkan semenanjung Gaza, sungguhpun begitu harga yang terpaksa dibayar adalah cukup, cukup mahal.
Tatkala kita menarik nafas lega diikuti dengan keseronokan kita bersenang-lenang di sini, putera puteri Quds berhempas pulas membina kembali tanah air mereka yang dijarah Zionis laknatullah. Mari kita bersama merenung kembali, apa yang telah kita lakukan untuk Islam. Adakah kita sudah lakukan yang termampu?
Saya selalu berpesan kepada anak2 usrah dan mad’u saya, jangan sekali-kali mudah menyatakan “aku tidak mampu”, ataupun “berdoa sahajalah yang aku mampu”, ataupun “aku tiada kemampuan untuk bertindak” dsb. Kerana cuba kita fikir balik, hanya orang yang di saat kematian, ataupun orang yang pekak bisu buta sahajalah yang LAYAK berkata sedemikian. Sedangkan Sheikh Ahmad Yassin yang lumpuh kesemua tangan dan kaki pun boleh berjihad malahkan mati syahid!
katakanlah kepada diri sendiri - apa lagi yang aku belum lakukan?
based on this, I want to promote product HPA . 100% muslims man made. for more details > click here!
€
love one of the thoughts
Mampukah kita?
Isu Palestin semakin suam-suam kuku, seiring dengan termeterainya gencatan senjata yang dipersetujui Israel-Hamas. Alhamdulillah, negara haram Israel gagal mendapatkan semenanjung Gaza, sungguhpun begitu harga yang terpaksa dibayar adalah cukup, cukup mahal.
Tatkala kita menarik nafas lega diikuti dengan keseronokan kita bersenang-lenang di sini, putera puteri Quds berhempas pulas membina kembali tanah air mereka yang dijarah Zionis laknatullah. Mari kita bersama merenung kembali, apa yang telah kita lakukan untuk Islam. Adakah kita sudah lakukan yang termampu?
Saya selalu berpesan kepada anak2 usrah dan mad’u saya, jangan sekali-kali mudah menyatakan “aku tidak mampu”, ataupun “berdoa sahajalah yang aku mampu”, ataupun “aku tiada kemampuan untuk bertindak” dsb. Kerana cuba kita fikir balik, hanya orang yang di saat kematian, ataupun orang yang pekak bisu buta sahajalah yang LAYAK berkata sedemikian. Sedangkan Sheikh Ahmad Yassin yang lumpuh kesemua tangan dan kaki pun boleh berjihad malahkan mati syahid!
Justeru jangan sekali2 cepat berpuas hati mengatakan - aku dah lakukan yang termampu. Usahlah menipu diri sendiri, apatah lagi menipu Allah yang Maha Mengetahui.Sebaliknya, kita mampu. Jangan kita menyatakan yang kita sudah melakukan yang
termampu, kerana dikhuatiri kita berdusta kepada Allah. Bagaimana itu? Kerana
Allah Maha Mengetahui kemampuan kita, bahkan Dialah yang menjadikan kita mampu.
Dia memberi ilmu agar kita boleh bertutur dan berbicara, maka kita mampu
bertutur dan berbicara mengenai isu2 Palestin dengan orang lain. Allah
mengurniakan kita ramai rakan-rakan dan saudara mara, maka kita mampu untuk memahamkan mereka mengenai isu palestin. (meaning, kita sendirik kena faham dlu! !_! ). Allah memberikan kita nikmat masa yang terluang untuk melayari internet, berblogging, berforum dan sebagainya, maka kita mampu menggunakan masa tersebut untuk menulis, menyebarkan isu palestin
kepada orang ramai. Allah memberikan kita wang dan rezeki, serta pilihan antara produk muslim dan kafir, maka kita mampu memilih antara keduanya tersebut.
katakanlah kepada diri sendiri - apa lagi yang aku belum lakukan?
based on this, I want to promote product HPA . 100% muslims man made. for more details > click here!
Sabtu, Januari 24
Which one is priority?
between dakwah and study, which one is priority?
study for dakwah?
or study for getting good job?
have big salary?
if that so,therefore when you study, you study for test. and if you fail the test, you will get frust.
What is the main goal and objective you study? What is the main thing in your life?
study for dakwah?
or study for getting good job?
have big salary?
if that so,therefore when you study, you study for test. and if you fail the test, you will get frust.
What is the main goal and objective you study? What is the main thing in your life?
As for me, main thing is my life of course to get Mardhatillah in everything I do, which means blessing from Allah, my Lord.
I told myself, the only reason I want to go Canada, is I want to see Islam there. Not because i want to further my study, it's not the main thing. Seriously I feel quite 'shy' to say " hey..I'm studying in Canada...".. I don't know why I will feel 'segan' if let say face with certain people.., terasa segan belajar negara orang barat?
Hmm..this Earth belong to Allah. SHould not feel that.
If i'm not going there for study, then for what?
Oh yeah? Thats kinda interesting story. I want to be there the only main reason, I want to spread the message of Islam more to to people in that place, that say we are terrorist and so on. Yeah. I know its not easy though but that's my mission. I want to change the perception of those people and shift the paradigm.
So, I've think this way. If I want to be there, I need to STUDY. get GOOD GRADE. Great grade is a ticket to be there. If I fail, i'll miss the ticket . THe only opportunity to spread the message of Islam, there. At least, if I cant say it, I will do it and express it in myself, I believe. People will not see what we just say it, but people we see what we are doing. Then, people could start thinking. However, to be there in not the ONLY THING that must be in my life. I try my best to getting there, but if its not what I hope, its doesnt matter. I know, there is hikmah beyond it.
So, in between dakwah and study, both are my top priority. But if you ask me which is more important? I will say dakwah. Why? Because, I could say that dakwah cover every aspect of my life. Everything I do, I know it is dakwah. How the way I conduct my life is a dakwah, an implicit message to the poeple. It is not, when you doing dakwah, you should be at the bottom one, supposedly you should be at the top.( i'm struggle for that) Another thing is, it is not, when you study, you leave dakwah as you think, its not the time yet for you to do dakwah.
What is dakwah basically? Simple mean, promote goods, asking or invite people to Islam. To do that, I need more the foundation of iman and Islam that should be strengthen.
Today, my dear friend called me from Jordan, a good advice I got. Put trust in Allah, no matter how you think in reality it is not so posible to get it.
I agree with that.
I shall have faith and believe in Him more than before. Everything I did, because of Him. The sake of Him, therefore I shouldnt give up, or get down because I have Him. No matter what will happen in future, I accept that I know He the one that let it be. Therefore, that's the best decision of Him. He knows the best. THus, I should not get upset with bad mark or even If I dont achieve as expected. I know what I've done so far. Nothing should be regret then. BUt for now, the battle is in me myself, that I should struggle, and keep pushing my limit the best as I can. After all, do the best, ALL OUT, and put the rest on Him. Tawakkaltu 'ila Allah 'ala kulli hal.
Somehow, I should not forget, He is fair. He will give me when I make effort for it. Will Allah reward Jannah to those that not believe in Him? Not even one to sacrifice for Him? I don't think so. Unless His Rahmah. That one is unexpceted. And that particular things is not our business.
I shall stop here.
I am study for dakwah!
A mission should be accomplished.
I told myself, the only reason I want to go Canada, is I want to see Islam there. Not because i want to further my study, it's not the main thing. Seriously I feel quite 'shy' to say " hey..I'm studying in Canada...".. I don't know why I will feel 'segan' if let say face with certain people.., terasa segan belajar negara orang barat?
Hmm..this Earth belong to Allah. SHould not feel that.
If i'm not going there for study, then for what?
Oh yeah? Thats kinda interesting story. I want to be there the only main reason, I want to spread the message of Islam more to to people in that place, that say we are terrorist and so on. Yeah. I know its not easy though but that's my mission. I want to change the perception of those people and shift the paradigm.
So, I've think this way. If I want to be there, I need to STUDY. get GOOD GRADE. Great grade is a ticket to be there. If I fail, i'll miss the ticket . THe only opportunity to spread the message of Islam, there. At least, if I cant say it, I will do it and express it in myself, I believe. People will not see what we just say it, but people we see what we are doing. Then, people could start thinking. However, to be there in not the ONLY THING that must be in my life. I try my best to getting there, but if its not what I hope, its doesnt matter. I know, there is hikmah beyond it.
So, in between dakwah and study, both are my top priority. But if you ask me which is more important? I will say dakwah. Why? Because, I could say that dakwah cover every aspect of my life. Everything I do, I know it is dakwah. How the way I conduct my life is a dakwah, an implicit message to the poeple. It is not, when you doing dakwah, you should be at the bottom one, supposedly you should be at the top.( i'm struggle for that) Another thing is, it is not, when you study, you leave dakwah as you think, its not the time yet for you to do dakwah.
What is dakwah basically? Simple mean, promote goods, asking or invite people to Islam. To do that, I need more the foundation of iman and Islam that should be strengthen.
Today, my dear friend called me from Jordan, a good advice I got. Put trust in Allah, no matter how you think in reality it is not so posible to get it.
I agree with that.
I shall have faith and believe in Him more than before. Everything I did, because of Him. The sake of Him, therefore I shouldnt give up, or get down because I have Him. No matter what will happen in future, I accept that I know He the one that let it be. Therefore, that's the best decision of Him. He knows the best. THus, I should not get upset with bad mark or even If I dont achieve as expected. I know what I've done so far. Nothing should be regret then. BUt for now, the battle is in me myself, that I should struggle, and keep pushing my limit the best as I can. After all, do the best, ALL OUT, and put the rest on Him. Tawakkaltu 'ila Allah 'ala kulli hal.
Somehow, I should not forget, He is fair. He will give me when I make effort for it. Will Allah reward Jannah to those that not believe in Him? Not even one to sacrifice for Him? I don't think so. Unless His Rahmah. That one is unexpceted. And that particular things is not our business.
I shall stop here.
I am study for dakwah!
A mission should be accomplished.
Ahad, Januari 11
Palestin dan GAZA
SUKAR untuk menahan rasa sedih dan pedih hati apabila membaca atau mendengar laporan berkaitan Palestin yang disiarkan setiap hari. Sudah dua minggu serangan dilakukan dan ia semakin ganas. Sekitar 850 warga Palestin kehilangan nyawa termasuk kanak-kanak, wanita serta orang tua dan majoritinya adalah orang awam. Bekalan ubat, makanan serta keperluan asas semakin berkurangan manakala ruang hospital selain doktor bertugas amat terhad dan tidak lagi mampu untuk menampung jumlah kemasukan. Mengikut satu laporan, ada doktor yang tidak sempat tidur sama sekali. Palestin pula kini terbahagi kepada tiga bahagian, kiri dan kanan sudah mula ditembusi oleh Yahudi, hanya bahagian tengah belum berjaya ditembusi. Jelas sekali, rejim Zionis melakukan penjajahan secara fizikal dan cuba menghilangkan Palestin daripada peta dunia! Persoalan utama sekarang, apa jenis bantuan yang benar-benar dikira membantu? Satu soalan yang saya turut kerap menyoal diri ini. Saya tiada jawapan yang melegakan. Namun bagi saya, kita semua boleh membantu berdasarkan kemampuan masing-masing. Keadaan manusia yang berbeza-beza dalam kemampuan ini diiktiraf oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW akan kewujudannya. Justeru, jangan harapkan semua orang mampu menjadi terlalu ‘berani’ seperti anda, terlalu ‘pemurah’ seperti anda atau terlalu ‘berjasa’ seperti anda.
Nabi Muhammad SAW bersabda dalam hadis yang sangat popular, ertinya:
“Sesiapa yang melihat kemungkaran, hendaklah ia mencegah dengan tangannya, siapa yang tidak mampu, cegahlah dengan lisannya (perkataan dan tulisan), siapa yang tidak mampu, cegahlah dengan hatinya (iaitu dengan rasa benci).”
PILIHLAH Natijahnya, pilih satu atau lebih daripada tindakan di bawah untuk membantu saudara kita di Palestin yang dijajah dan sedang cuba dijajah:
1. Bantuan tenaga dan diri. Pergilah ke medan di Palestin, jika anda ada cara, kemampuan dan keikhlasan. Sama ada untuk membantu menghantar bantuan kemanusiaan, perubatan, psikologi atau yang lebih hebat daripada segi fizikalnya.
2. Bantuan harta Bagi yang tidak mampu pergi, sumbanglah bantuan kewangan, pakaian dan lain-lain kepada badan yang dipercayai lagi berwibawa di tempat anda.
3. Bantuan doa bagi yang tidak mampu memberi kedua-dua bantuan di atas, atau termasuk juga mereka yang mampu, teruskan berdoa untuk keselamatan rakyat Palestin, Iraq dan umat Islam. Doakan bala bagi Yahudi, pemimpin Amerika Syarikat (AS) dan rakyatnya yang menyokong, pemimpin Mesir dan sekutunya mereka yang membuka jalan dan menyokong serangan pengganas Yahudi itu. Doa anda boleh bacanya sebagai:
a. Qunut Nazilah dalam setiap solat fardu anda. Anda dibenarkan memegang kertas doa ketika qunut kerana tentu sukar untuk menghafalnya. Itu tidak membatalkan solat dalam semua mazhab, termasuk mazhab Syafie, kerana anda tidak bergerak besar berturut-turut sebanyak tiga kali.
b. Doa ketika sujud dalam setiap solat. Ia lebih maqbul berdasarkan nas yang sahih.
c. Khatib bacalah doa untuk Palestin pada hujung khutbah Jumaat.
d. Dan banyak lagi waktu doa maqbul.
4. Solat hajat Bagi mereka yang berpegang kepada bolehnya dilakukan solat hajat sama ada secara individu atau berjemaah, anda turut boleh meneruskannya.
5. Menyertai demonstrasi aman Sertailah ia dengan aman dan makmurkannya, namun jangan lupa juga memakmurkan masjid waktu Subuh dan waktu lain.
6. Menulis Tulislah di blog, laman web, forum, ruangan akhbar, majalah, yahoogroup mengenai kezaliman Yahudi Zionis.
7. Ceramah Anda mampu berceramah? Beri ceramah berkaitan isu ini atau hadiri ceramah berkaitan dengannya. Anda tidak semestinya seorang ustaz atau ustazah untuk berceramah dalam perkara ini.
8. Boikot Perkukuhkan boikot barangan Yahudi dan AS. Hantar surat, bantahan, petisyen, memorandum kepada kedutaan AS, Mesir dan sekutu jahat mereka. Pelajar Al-Azhar, kami mendambakan tindakan dan usaha anda terhadap kerajaan Mesir. TINGKATKAN KEPEDULIAN Tingkatkan kepedulian kita. Jangan dirasakan usaha kita sangat kerdil, tidak mampu memberi kesan. Yakinilah bantuan Allah SWT, sangka baiklah dengan Allah SWT, nescaya Allah SWT bersama hamba-Nya yang bersangka baik dan taat pada-Nya.
Seperti sebuah hadis qudsi ertinya: Allah menyebut: “Aku berada di atas sangkaan hamba-hambaKu.”
olahan semula. Sumber : iluvislam.
Nabi Muhammad SAW bersabda dalam hadis yang sangat popular, ertinya:
“Sesiapa yang melihat kemungkaran, hendaklah ia mencegah dengan tangannya, siapa yang tidak mampu, cegahlah dengan lisannya (perkataan dan tulisan), siapa yang tidak mampu, cegahlah dengan hatinya (iaitu dengan rasa benci).”
PILIHLAH Natijahnya, pilih satu atau lebih daripada tindakan di bawah untuk membantu saudara kita di Palestin yang dijajah dan sedang cuba dijajah:
1. Bantuan tenaga dan diri. Pergilah ke medan di Palestin, jika anda ada cara, kemampuan dan keikhlasan. Sama ada untuk membantu menghantar bantuan kemanusiaan, perubatan, psikologi atau yang lebih hebat daripada segi fizikalnya.
2. Bantuan harta Bagi yang tidak mampu pergi, sumbanglah bantuan kewangan, pakaian dan lain-lain kepada badan yang dipercayai lagi berwibawa di tempat anda.
3. Bantuan doa bagi yang tidak mampu memberi kedua-dua bantuan di atas, atau termasuk juga mereka yang mampu, teruskan berdoa untuk keselamatan rakyat Palestin, Iraq dan umat Islam. Doakan bala bagi Yahudi, pemimpin Amerika Syarikat (AS) dan rakyatnya yang menyokong, pemimpin Mesir dan sekutunya mereka yang membuka jalan dan menyokong serangan pengganas Yahudi itu. Doa anda boleh bacanya sebagai:
a. Qunut Nazilah dalam setiap solat fardu anda. Anda dibenarkan memegang kertas doa ketika qunut kerana tentu sukar untuk menghafalnya. Itu tidak membatalkan solat dalam semua mazhab, termasuk mazhab Syafie, kerana anda tidak bergerak besar berturut-turut sebanyak tiga kali.
b. Doa ketika sujud dalam setiap solat. Ia lebih maqbul berdasarkan nas yang sahih.
c. Khatib bacalah doa untuk Palestin pada hujung khutbah Jumaat.
d. Dan banyak lagi waktu doa maqbul.
4. Solat hajat Bagi mereka yang berpegang kepada bolehnya dilakukan solat hajat sama ada secara individu atau berjemaah, anda turut boleh meneruskannya.
5. Menyertai demonstrasi aman Sertailah ia dengan aman dan makmurkannya, namun jangan lupa juga memakmurkan masjid waktu Subuh dan waktu lain.
6. Menulis Tulislah di blog, laman web, forum, ruangan akhbar, majalah, yahoogroup mengenai kezaliman Yahudi Zionis.
7. Ceramah Anda mampu berceramah? Beri ceramah berkaitan isu ini atau hadiri ceramah berkaitan dengannya. Anda tidak semestinya seorang ustaz atau ustazah untuk berceramah dalam perkara ini.
8. Boikot Perkukuhkan boikot barangan Yahudi dan AS. Hantar surat, bantahan, petisyen, memorandum kepada kedutaan AS, Mesir dan sekutu jahat mereka. Pelajar Al-Azhar, kami mendambakan tindakan dan usaha anda terhadap kerajaan Mesir. TINGKATKAN KEPEDULIAN Tingkatkan kepedulian kita. Jangan dirasakan usaha kita sangat kerdil, tidak mampu memberi kesan. Yakinilah bantuan Allah SWT, sangka baiklah dengan Allah SWT, nescaya Allah SWT bersama hamba-Nya yang bersangka baik dan taat pada-Nya.
Seperti sebuah hadis qudsi ertinya: Allah menyebut: “Aku berada di atas sangkaan hamba-hambaKu.”
olahan semula. Sumber : iluvislam.
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