My IELTS a test of Iman!

I can only thank Allah for this blessing on me

For giving me sakina (calmness) in this tranquility

Thank you ya Allah for the test on me.

I should be grateful that Allah want give this test to me.
Hey why me? Why not others? I know He knows that I can make it. I am able to take it.
Do you know how it feel, when you just don’t get what you expect?
It’s kinda sad. But I believe it also a test from Him.

My friend’s IELTS result was pretty good. Michael! One of the result that quite a shock to me. He got 8. and for speaking, he got 7. Before that, I heard his story how terrible he did. Then I just said, have faith. Who know’s there will be miracle. Because he looks like very very down. Although when we just back from the test, in the bus, he still talk about the mistakes he did. Hmm..Although I’m quite satisfied that I could answer well but it just doesn’t mean everything goes well. Sometimes what you expect it will not be as it is. Then, I said to him, “don’t worry I’ll pray for you. How much you want? 7? 8?” He said, if can 7 but if 6.5 that’s just enough. Well, I have make a special prayer after that. I don’t know. After he told me how terrible he did, I really wish that Allah can give him chance. I pray hard for him. Seriously I did. But today, a bit sad to talk about the result I got. Why he got? Why I don’t?

But I know I shouldn’t be sad. I know this is a test from Allah for me. This is just a test. I used to see my other friend, use to ask to myself..”hey how come they can pass and I’m not? What they did? I’m not too bad though..” sometimes the bad thought come to my mind. But I’ll try to accept as it is. As that is one part of iman (faith) which is ‘redho’ or in other word, accept what it is from Him. I learn that, it is also not about luck, but it consider the effort. I could say that other people work harder than me. Maybe not? I don’t know. But He knows what the best for me.

How the IELTS result test me? Yeah. It is not only about the writing, speaking, reading and listening test. But it also a test of faith and believe of me to Him. Proof? I pray for my friend, and he got 8! How powerful is that. The power of prayer. The power of God. The power of Allah. He can do anyting He wants. And me? Haha. Actually, I admit that, I just forgot to ask Him for myself. Seriously ‘forgot’. I don’t really pray much and specifically ask to Him. Even I wish, I more ask other people to pray for me rather than pray for myself. Ironic isn’t it? Yeah. I know He can just give me, even I don’t ask Him. He able to do anything. But maybe He wants to teach me, you want something, you need to ASK! Yeah..sort of. That’s one of the thing that I could consider. I need to ask more, and I believe, IELTS have strengthen my belief to Him and also my faith. Stronger my iman.

Thank you Ya Allah for this test. Even the path is different from other people, I believe that to pay for re-sit IELTS RM530 is just ‘nothing’ as compared to the ‘lesson’ that I got. The price to ‘upgrade’ my iman and yakin. Only believe in Him.

And be not infirm, and be not grieving, and you shall have the upper hand if you are believers. ~Al –Imraan 3:139~

“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman.” (Ali-Imran:139)

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Bila orang tanya,"IELTS camne? "

aku menjawab lemah, "tak lepas.."

aduhai..lemah terasa! sendi2 ni ibarat bergetar je rasa..ya Allah..hebatnya ujian dari-Mu..

satu tarbiyah buat diriku.

iri terasa bersama teman2 yang lepas. iri..terasa sungguh.

tapi teman2 yang lepas, aku turut tumpang gembira. cuma mengenangkan aku? oh..
takperla. buat je apa yang termampu. aku pun bakal 're-sit' balik sabtu ni. dah bayaq pon. tak ya nak pk da. nak sedey pon, tarak guna.

cuma, perasaan tu masih ada. dan aku pasti, akan hilang jua. perasaan itu akan berganti. cuma perasaan itu mahu kuabadi dan rakam di sini. kerana perasaan itu akan hilang. dan aku mahu dia hilang.

Even, I saw my friend that succeed, and I'm not yet, they always give encouragement and support. like when I asked Michael about his IELTS and the tips to be good as him ( he got 9 for listening and 8 for reading! mmg salute), he said to me.." don't worry. you will be fine..." he said 2-3 times. and he said, "don't be sad. you will be ok.just be strong " ..

oh..thank you friend for the moral support. appreciate it so much. it's kinda hard on me. I know many people expect I'm doing well. Even me, expect it to be good and super-well. But it doesn't. and I knew He made this for reasons. I knew it and I believe in Him why He makes this to me, the only thing to make me closer to Him.

Sedey jugak bila orang tanye about my IELTS. bila cakap tak lepas. fuh.. lemah je terasa. now i could feel, how it feel if i still 'main-main' , tak serius, tak sungguh-sungguh. This 'test' really teach me a lot. Cukup2lah Qurratul. Now is time to focus. Now I can feel, what If I don't throw the 'laziness' in me now, then I will be hurt tomorrow. If I don't want this to happen on me later on, then please! You really need to CHANGE! Put more EFFORT! Pray hard! Work Hard! (its not you, its me by the way. it just like i'm talking to myself)

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walau apa pun, hari ni aku macam punya sedikit semangat. a bit spirit from Him. starting Saturday night I begin to have flu. and getting sick from yesterday until today. Feel so terrible, my body shaking and getting drowsy. But this morning, a bit feel like want to have 'fresh start'. Well, there something good to hear from other person today about me.

I have a speaking practice with Mr. Hanna this evening and he said a lot of good things to me. Like he said, "Ain, you had improved so much! Since I met you in July last year, and now is almost April, a lot of improvement. Your fluency, comprehend, and also your speaking. You improved a lot. It is because you being 'pushed' to be in English. You have to hear English and write and understand all in English.

Well, if you really want it, thats the thing you need to do. Get into it.

Another thing we talk about toursim. There is a question in the practice about the impact of tourism other than economy. I just can think of the answer. Then he said, are you sure you can't think any other thing? I said,"Hmm..I can't think any of it.."

"That maybe because of you don't really go around to other places.."

yeah. that's true. I don't really go anywhere..

Then he started to question me few things. and try to get to his points. after all, he point out about EXPOSURE.

by meet different people, expose with different people from other places, it can broaden the mind. How it broaden the mind? By having different ways in looking at a thing. another thing is, we can have cultural exchange. increase interaction among peoples. encourage social interaction. meet them, talk to them, learn the ways and have the IDEAS..

I wish and really hope I can have the exposures! that's why I need to fly! and go to Canada. espcially to be in Toronto where many different people from other parts of the world is there.

Hmm.. Being 'exposed' .

However, technically could it be good?