i guess so ...
but i don't know which part is the wrong one
which part need to repair but
somehow i feel like the whole one need a new HEART with the spirit of
my old time
a broken heart?
i don't know if this heart is broken.
somehow, i know i have broken other people's heart
if you read this, believe me i feel so bad. i feel that i am bad person.
(but i don't think you read this as i believe you have hate me much in your life)
i beg for His forgiveness for my own fault and 'blindness'. bad decision wrong action. after all, nothing much to blame other than myself.
for my entire life, hard for me to forget it. the bad thing in past that i did
and perhaps the hardest thing to let it go
but when we are desperate
sometimes we tends to run from it. maybe not we, it just ME.
no one knows how it feel
and i don't want to feel it more than i need to
until today, even almost nearly reach the end of four season but
i feel like it happen yesterday
just feel like yesterday
and now it has gone
and i need to try
learning to forget and move on
deep from my heart, i'm sorry to make your life like a disaster.
at that moment only He knows
and I believe that the best thing I can do after all
life is just like a drawing without an eraser
i can't erase it even i want it
the only thing is, to take a look and make it better
i can't adjust it the way i want it
to have a change in future that can I have
by today's attitude, action and perception.
i feel like crapping a lot.
sometimes, it just that i want to be heard
even i crapping so much.
however, i hope i'm not make it to a big deal
as it wont give much benefit to most people
somthing wrong with you.what the 'something wrong' one?
maybe at one time, i realize it but then i just ignore it. and when it comes to you, i don't know which part in me that i need to start warming it up again. the only thing i know is SPIRIT>
the spirit that I lack of.
the spirit of STRUGGLE.
the old and REAL me that I've lost it for sometime.