Ahad, Mei 20

Turning 22


I'm turning 22 in 2 days.

What have I achieved so far?

What have I done in fulfilling my obligation

I'm getting older and I'm not little gurl anymore.

Am I getting wiser?
Am I getting mature?
Am I getting better?

Am I getting closer and closer to Allah?
Am I a better servant to Allah?

Last 2 days, a brother passed away. And the announcer at the ISNA masjid told the people that

People come and go. And the reason Allah sent us on this earth is to do what He please.

Despite of being overwhelmed or thinking too much, this simple reminder (simple in the sense of less words but profound), had strucked me in someway.

The question is simple.

Am I doing what He please?

You know what He please and you know what is not. But at the end of the day, how deep do you really feel Allah is in your heart?

That every heartbeat thinking of Him. Thinking and worry for doing something that He is not please with.

Sometimes,my heart can fill full with love but sometimes, fear need to take place when the sense of love start to fade.

If love doesnt get along, fear the only way to get to the love.

At least, to have fear if being displeased,

Ya robbi,
I'm turning 22
Death is closer day by day
Sometimes, I'm not sure
Am i getting better or am I not?
And I didn't know whether
Do You please with me or You don't

Ya ilahi
Put barokah in my life
To live at this age
Pleasing You

I need you my Lord
To survive in this journey
Without You
I'm helpless
Grant me patience
to be istiqamah
In every steps that I took
Towards Your pleasure

209 Fort York Blvd
May 20, 2012

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